I Will Give Thanks If You Stop

Please. Please. It hurts.

If you haven’t already watched this video of make-up clad pre-teen singing with a drumstick, then consider yourself lucky. With all the elements of Rebecca Black’s Friday, Nicole Westbrook has done the impossible: created a song that makes Friday look like lyrical mastery.

With lyrics like “December was Christmas/ January was New Year’s/April was Easter/ And the Fourth of July but now it’s Thanksgiving” It’s Thanksgiving makes sure to suck dry any remaining IQ points you might have salvaged purely from staring at the title.

So it seems the internets have granted us the recipe for success/eternal damnation: a pre-pubescent wannabe Hannah Montanas, lyrics written by imbeciles, music composed by deaf people (actually – Beethoven was deaf, scratch that) music that could be composed BETTER by deaf people, and the token black guy – just for kicks.

With sh*t like this hitting nearly 7 million view on youtube, I think it’s time we give Rebecca Black an apology. Or prepare for the apocalypse.