Dear Ivy,
I only seem to be attracting men that I'm not into. How do I attract the guys that catch my eye, other than just "being myself"?


Don’t stare. Don’t stalk. You want him to know you’re there without thinking you’re an easy catch, so you really gotta play your cards right on this one. Once you set your sights on the guy you want to pursue, make sure you present him with a challenge while dropping subtle hints. The art of attraction is based on a very delicate balance between coming off as approachable yet unattainable.

The next time he’s in your radius try cracking a wise joke, there’s nothing men love more than a laid-back girl with a sense of humor. This might sound oh-so-cliche' but be super confident without coming off as arrogant either. Make some eye contact and smile occasionally.

Here’s a favorite tip of mine: If you’re at a bar have the waiter send him over your favorite super girly drink and watch his reaction. If he decides to play along, you know you’re on to something, if he gets weirded out by the gesture then you want nothing to do with him.

Dear Ivy,
I'm really into this guy I'm dating, and he wants to take it to the next level, physically, but I'm just not ready. He's really understanding about it, but I'd like to compensate with something. What are some things I can do to make his waiting easier on him?


It depends on why you’re not ready for sexual intimacy, are you not entirely sure about your feelings for him or is it just too soon for some hanky panky? Every couple experiences its own natural progression of intimacy and it usually comes naturally. It doesn’t sound like he’s rushing, so that’s a good sign.

If you like him but don’t wanna come off as too easy too soon in the relationship, that’s a wise choice, and it’s precisely what we’ve got bases for.

You can start things off by allowing him some heavy petting from your waist up. When you’re comfortable with that and feel like he’s explored that area enough, then perhaps you can invite him to move down south. There are many ways for you both to enjoy some sexual stimulation without necessarily engaging in full-blown sex. And whatever activities you choose will just really depend on what you’re into. Don't worry, when you’re ready - things will just happen naturally. Enjoy!

Want more from Ivy? Check out her blog.

Have a question you'd like to know the answer to? Email her at tell.ivy@gmail.com.

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