French Film Banned in Lebanon

Rule of thumb: if a film lacks any nostalgic value, famous actors (much less attractive ones), or any sort of purpose and is still so bad that you can’t even sit through the trailer, no one is going to go see it.

Rule #2: If you ban a film, you give it so much publicity that self-proclaimed plastic gun-wielding pseudo-rebels everywhere are going to make sure that they have seen it.

Bravo, Lebanon. You’ve just succumbed a good portion of the world’s population to perhaps one of the worst movies ever made (and I’ve seen all the “Twilight’s”, so that’s saying something).

“Too Much Love Will Kill You”, an up and coming French film, looks as bad as its title is cheesy. Somehow included in the Louisville’s International Festival of Film (wasta, I’m sure), this movie is guaranteed to make you lose your faith in humanity.

According to the synopsis of the film, “A Russian woman flees her dull Parisian life and lands in Beirut, a city full of chaos and violence, to work as a cabaret dancer. There, she meets trivial people, including prostitutes, who invite her into a world she once thought she wanted.”

Ignoring the fact that anyone who actually wants to be a prostitute is more than slightly disturbed, the synopsis reveals nothing “Pretty Woman” hasn’t exposed me to.

The trailer, on the other hand, is an entirely different story.

I give you fair warning: do not (I repeat, do NOT) watch the trailer. If you value your IQ points, your sanity and perhaps your dignity, stay away.

I mean, if the depravity of the poster isn’t enough to disconcert you, I’m not sure what will.

Seriously. Is that a skull? With a Mario mustache?

I think the issue isn’t whether or not this film is “blasphemous and provocative,” as the General Security claims, but that there are actually people willing to shove Italian animal skulls between their legs for the sake of a bad porno and, even worse, that there are people who want to watch it.

I mean really, where have our standards gone?

POST EDIT

The General Security general directorate has reportedly denied banning the film, explaining that “the alleged claims are not true as no company has so far asked for a license to show the movie.”

They further accused filmmaker Karabache of attempting to commercialize his movie by claiming it was banned. And really, after watching the trailer and having my eyes bleed—it looks like he’s going to need all the publicity he can get.