Having a Facebook profile, by nature, induces attention-seeking behavior, and most status updates are just designed to feed into the ego of the person posting them. But some people take their attention whoring to insidious levels, posting photos - almost on the hour - of themselves, their friends, the party they went to last night, the cupcakes they just made, their cats, their dogs, the sweaters they're kitting, their engagements, their pregnancies, and apparently the inner workings of their souls.

As someone on the Internet once said, "I used to wish I could read minds. Then I got Facebook and realized I didn't."

So yeah, we're generalizing, but here's ten types of people commonly spotted on FB in Lebanon.

1. The Self-loving, Excessively Posting Female

(Photo via birdeemag.com)

Look at me. Look at meeeeeee! This FB user completely relies on this and other social networking sites for personal validation. Posts at least five selfies a day including: Rita eating breakfast; Rita doing her nails; Rita eating lunch. Might actually go to the bathroom and call it a life changing road-trip.

Engages in "share" and "like" begging; likes everything anyone else posts on FB in an attempt to get "likes" on her own wall. If she doesn't get enough likes on a status, she deletes them out of shame.

2. The Self-Loving, Excessively Posting Male

(Photo via wikia.nocookie.net)

We've separated the men from the women because they don't operate the same way. While they both love their lives so much they want to share every second of it with you on the Internet, the men keep it simple by taking off their shirts and bearing their chests like the cavemen they aspire to be.

This guy often utilizes Facebook to invite spam people about the "most amazing event in the entire universe" going down this weekend that they want you to attend. Always posing in pics with random, (supposedly hot) chicks.

In sum, someone stick a fork in this guy because he's DONE.

3. The Artsy Intellectual

This FB user engages in statuses attempting to spark thought-provoking discussions about deep philosophical issues they believe most people are too uneducated to understand. Their profile picture is either a photograph of their latest art work or some cropped and filtered self-portrait of their dry and crusty elbow.

Enjoys posting screenshots from underground art flicks from the 1960s that probably involve quotes from Jean Luc Goddard's 1967 film, Breathless.

4. The DJ or Musician

Regularly posts music videos of their favorite songs (and possibly music off their latest album) and hopes someone, anyone, gives a shit.

[Full disclosure: I'm guilty of this.]

5. The Leftist

Always the nationalist, only posts in Arabic. Tries to be ironic when commenting on anything. Mentions Syria. A lot. FB news feed says they're attending an event at Metro al Madina, Zakaria Pub or Babel Theater every night of the week. Posts about political demonstrations before anyone else.

Warning: mess with a leftist by posting about how good your last Big Mac Meal was and let's just say they won't be McLoving it.

6. The Expat

Most FB posts are merely designed to show off to his/her friends back home. Is always taking road trips on the weekend, usually to Tripoli.

Likes to post personal political analysis of newsworthy topics. Owns a Hezbollah lighter or flag they bought at some touristy shop near Baalbek. Believes they know more (and actually might) about Lebanon than the Lebanese themselves. Massacres the spelling of Arabic words in English transliteration and writes the word "habibi" in 90% of their interactions on FB.

7. The Activist

The activist posts about the latest death toll in Syria like it's their job. Their Facebook profile pic is almost always dependent on the hot social cause of the moment. Doesn't like to post about happy things, just the most miserable situations and photos imaginable: starving children with bloated stomachs and flies swarming around their heads, dead people swimming in a pool of their own blood and outrageous quotes from politicians on news programs.

Rarely uploads pictures of themselves unless it's a photo of their latest social activity in which participants are all wearing the same matching t-shirts.

8. The Facebook Gamers

Only has status updates about the highest score they earned on whatever mindless game they're currently obsessed with playing. Only interacts with you by inviting you to join said game on Facebook. One word for you: unsubscribe.

My advice to these peeps? F*ck Fcebook, play Skyrim.

9. The Atheist

The atheist wants to make sure you all know they hate religion and anything related to it. Shares scientific posts about the world's most mind-boggling questions. Idolizes Stephen Hawking. Adores George Carlin. Invites you to like FB groups associated with civil marriage in Lebanon and sectarian-free movements.

10. The Mamas and Babas

(Photo via szallas.hu)

Excessively posts pictures of their kids, grandkids and friends' kids and grandkids. Comments on every post. Often writes in CAPS BECAUSE THEY STILL HAVEN'T FIGURED OUT HOW THIS DAMN COMPUTER THINGY WORKS. Tend to have an outdated profile picture of themselves dating back at least ten years.

They accept invitations to anything, even if that means seeing Haifa without make-up on, and other types of spam. If you're related, just save yourself the hassle and limit your profile immediately to what they can and cannot see.

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with all my respect for the one who wrote this article. this is not for only Lebanese people , this can be for all Facebook users over the world . but now all people will start to share it with out even read the content . because all Lebanese whenever they find a bad article about their country they like to spread it . trust me ,if you remove the wording Lebanon , no one will read it . don't be offended . but this is the reality of Lebanese culture , bad news they like to show it always about their country .Thank you

Claude Osta on Oct 23, 2013 via web
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there's nothing wrong about posting in Arabic, what's stupid is mocking those who post in Arabic thinking that posting in foreign languages make you more civilized!

Wael Koubeissy on Oct 22, 2013 via web
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I actually enjoyed reading this very critical - but on the ball - article

Sylvia Elkawa on Oct 22, 2013 via web