Earlier this week we brought you the weirdest retro music videos ever, and while researching that, we couldn't help but notice that while those videos were bizarre, the lyrics to some other songs not mentioned were even stranger. Sadly, all of these lyrics happen to be from female singers. We're not targeting you ladies, but suffice it to say: whoever thinks contemporary music is becoming more and more meaningless never listened to the words in these songs.

1. Aida Abou Jawde- Jawzi Ya Faouzi (my Husband, hey Fawzi)

The only reason Abou Jawde's stalker in this song is called Fawsi is clearly because it rhymes with Jawzi (husband). Set aside the fact that she's flirting with a stalker while her husband is sleeping and check out these lyrics:

You've been following me for quite some time now,
Writing and asking me to answer back
You aging gentle, you're going over board
You're crazy turning around, writing notes
And your craziness has set an example in the country
Hey Fawzi, I'm gonna tell my husband to beat you
Fawzi oh Fawzi stop sending me things
Hey Fawzi I'm gonna tell my husband to beat you

2. Sabah - Because I Love You

Admittedly, I've always referred to pancakes with syrup as my one true love, so I totally understand Sabah's romantic references to food in this song.

Stop being confused, stop turning around and stop wrecking mansions
Life is full of troubles, forget about it and don't care this much
Because I love you (originally in English)
I love you, you tiger, you sweet potatoes, you ketchup (originally in English)
There's no solution, there's no escape
Stop talking about it
When the problem can't be solved, just delay it
Because I love you (originally said in English)
I love you, you fox, kiss me(originally said in English)
Stop being confused,stop turning around everything is going to an end
Let the earth rain flowers and hide the unknown
Because I love you

3. Sabah - Maximum You Can Touch Me

Sabah does it again, this time with something more daring. Take into consideration the fact that she was singing this in 1968 (for the film, "A Man in Tehran") and was a veritable role model to women across the country. Here, she's basically condoning the idea that it's ok to take advantage of men, but not to love them. (Wait... it IS ok, isn't it?)

Maximum you can touch me, maximum you can squeeze me, maximum you can kiss me but love you no
Maximum you can dance with me, maximum you can chat with me, maximum you can touch me but love you no
My heart is big and it needs a big love, but you're only worth dancing with me and taking me out
I might sit next to you, hear your heartbeats and you'll ask me if I love and I'll say no
You might hold my hand, go crazy while we try a new dance, get lost in a far away world, but love you no

4. Sabah - Ya Karkadan (Oh Rhinoceros)

This might be the strangest among Sabah's repertoire of weirdness: a song addressed to a rhinoceros (which by the way is only known as Karkadan in formal Arabic). Add to that the linguistically wrong "an" she keeps adding to all her sentences to make it rhyme with Karkadan and well... the song basically turns into a nightmare.

Maybe our dear readers can tell us what we're missing? (I'll just add the pronounced "an" to make you suffer just as much as I did translating this)

Oh Rhino, don't calculate things-an- until you get paid-an-
Walk in the light because there might a prank-an- in the air
We said we'll be, we'll sing a lot, we became miserable and our brains went crazy
It turns out the issue is tear-breaking and the road is one way up,and you'll never get there-an-
Slow down, your brain is only this big, speak the truth and don't lie-an-
Even if we lived for ages, we'll end up leaving for ever, the wind will make you cold
Your life my love is made of ups and downs and only the clever thinks about its ups.
Walk in the light, don't be arrogant, you'll end up falling on a deserted road-an-

5. Charifa Fadel- Habibi Najjar (My lover is a carpenter)

Charifa Fadel is an Egyptian singer, but this is one of her many songs in the Lebanese dialect. She's happy with her lover, who's a carpenter, a blacksmith and a construction worker. Here's how she makes her point clear:

My lover is a carpenter, he works with a geometric compass
His hammer's slam is very strong,
It weakens the spike until it won't come near the saw anymore
My lover, my lover
My lover is a blacksmith, famous in countries around the world,
He's also a fashionable construction worker,
He built a room in the village whose stones are made of stoneware
His hammer's slam is very strong,
It weakens the stones until they break and make fire sparkles
My lover is poor but he's a strong man
He owns the biggest car in town and I'm his only hubby, he doesn't lie or keep secrets
The way he hits the gear shift is very strong,
It weakens the wheel so it doesn't go down the valley

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