How to Become a Beirut Hipster

We love us some hipsters and anyone with an unquenchable thirst for all things alternative, for that matter. But for the sake of appearances, here’s a simple how-to guide on becoming a hipster in Beirut.

1. Grow a Beard

(Photo via diehipster.wordpress.com)

Not only does an overgrown beard insinuate that you don’t care about anyone’s opinion (of course, in reality, you do – which is why you grew it out in the first place) but it also gives you something to scratch on when you’re pondering really deep, philosophical thoughts. Ladies, this applies to you too. Women shouldn’t have to shave if men don’t have to. Amiright?

2. Accessorize

(Photo via weheartit.com)

Throw on a couple of feathers, beads, rings, necklaces and weird bracelets from Ants in Hamra. Also, wear glasses that are too large for your head. Basically, you want to wear eye-catching things that would make people turn around and talk about how unique your outfit is (although, it should be noted that you hate all the attention).

3. Be Artsy

(Photo via Facebook.com)

Metro Al Madina is your second home. You will have to go here almost every other day, take pictures and upload them to Facebook immediately with a caption, preferably one written in Arabic. If Madina is not featuring anything new, head to Zakaria Pub, Whiskey Bar, and anything in the dimmed streets of Hamra, Monot and Mar Mikhael. When you’re there, try to act like you have better things to do as it’s rather important to purvey the image that you’d rather be at home reading 18th Century French Literature.

4. Your Party Preferences

(Photo via kornertalk.com)

Anything outdoors and anything involving a small circle of artistic individuals. Beirut Jam Sessions and Beirut Open Stage are your favorite events of the year. Keep in mind, you are very much invested in local bands – you love Adonis, Meen, Charlie Rayne, Lazzy Lung, Postcards, etc. (Side note: we love them all, too.) You pretty much loathe any artist NRJ or Mix FM ever brings in. And although you don’t like to party, you manage to make an appearance at pretty much every major weekend party (PC Party, Stereo Club Nights, C U NXT SAT, etc.) Of course, you hate pictures, but you nevertheless manage to get tagged in a dozen or so, with perfected hipster lighting filters, on Facebook.

5. Facebook

Speaking of social networking, your cover photo on Facebook needs to be something abstract; people NEED to know how artsy you are, and how profound your taste in art is. Make sure to throw in a quote as a caption, preferably one that is completely nonsensical; for instance, “green ‘shajara’ from the galaxies of raw.” Myriam Klink is your number one target – she is the Miley Cyrus of Lebanon.

6. Be Abstract

Always make sure to make fun of mainstream artists and only post songs that no one has ever heard of to remind people what music used to sound like once upon a time (of course, all the music you’re posting is relatively new and in no way whatsoever reflects the past.)

7. Deny.

(Photo via holidaymatinee.com)

This is the most crucial element to becoming a hipster – deny any allegations whatsoever that you are one.