You've heard of #firstworldproblems and #thirdworldproblems, well we don't know much about that, but we do know a little something about Lebanese problems. Take a look:

1. Mixing Different Languages in the Same Sentence



This problem is bad. Like, really bad.

We’re talking ruining-a-job-opportunity kind of bad simply because we can’t seem to construct sentences without including “inno”, “bas” and “khalas”.

It’s a curse, if you ask me; even if we’re talking to non-Arabs, we don’t seem to have control over the Lebanese words that escape our tongues.

Inno, it’s really difficult not to use them, ya3ni.

2. The Eyebrows


(Photo via typepad.com)

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3. Our Names are Always Underlined on Microsoft Word



No, like why.

Why does autocorrect on Microsoft Word hate on us so much?

It is the most irritating thing to have red lines all over our word documents, but no matter what, Jameel and Rana and Khaled and Fatmeh seem to be marked.
Ah, well.
Haters are my motivators.
*Brushes dust off shoulders*

4. If Mama Says No, Ya3ni It means No



Even if we’re 20, heck, even if we’re 40, when our mother says no – it means no.

If we look around us, kids gain their independence at the age of 12 but in our culture, no matter how old we get, no matter how far we get in our lives, if our mother doesn’t like our outfit, we change it.

5. The Hookah-Sharing Problem



This one is really annoying, particularly for non-smokers. They share one argilah (obviously, because it means less liras) and then argue over whose turn it is to smoke.

And take it as a rule of thumb, the person smoking the argilah has always “just started, wallah.”

6. The “3’ammo” Problem


(Photo via youtube.com)

Even if the person we’re dealing with is not that much older, it’s awkward not calling them 3’ammo.
Our parents’ friends, waiters, taxi drivers, our older brother’s best friend… you name it.
Kelon 3’ammo.

7. When They Reply in French or English



I get that we're a prestigious country that speaks more than one language, but I asked you a question in Arabic - why are you replying in French?

This issue is particularly problematic in salons, where everyone's first language suddenly becomes French and if you don't speak it, you automatically feel out of place. The worst part is when we ask how much we should pay and they reply, "vingt-huit"

Ving-hwattt?

8. We Can't Eat Without Lebanese Bread



We don't get full if there isn't a fat rabtit khibiz sitting smugly on our right. The best part is that it doesn't stop with hummus and labneh. Oh, no. We have it with peanut butter, with eggs, with knefe, with rice (I kid you not) and the creative list doesn't stop there. Talk about patriotism.

9. Our Babas And the Remote Control



Our childhoods are spent waiting for our fathers to nap, just so we can steal the remote control and change from Al-Jazeera to Sbace Toon, because when they're up - we don't even think of asking.

10. Middle Names = Father's Names



Middle names? Who needs to think of those when we simply can use our father's names.

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