RIP XXL: Lebanon Set to Ban Alcoholic Energy Drinks

Lebanon is cracking down on alcoholic energy drinks, and let’s just say I’m about to go to the store and buy about 10 cases of these bad boys… you know, for safe keeping.

According to news reports, the Economy and Health ministries have teamed up over the issue and are giving shops four months to comply with a new ban on the import.

(Photo via bubblews.com)

I, for one, am going to seriously mourn the loss of Buzz, Biryt, XXL, Boom Boom and the lot. One of my fondest memories involved grabbing a can from TSC before a shopping trip with my BFF. About 15 minutes later, I was trying on a pair of green pants and attempting to fly off the balcony of the Beirut Souks Mall because I drank half the can and came to believe that I was a real-life Peter Pan. Don’t take my word for it, go ahead and try this out for yourself before the ban goes into effect. The only thing you’ll regret is the green pants.

Sure, alcoholic energy drinks taste disgusting and completely prevent you from appearing the least bit classy in public, but it gets the job done – and quickly.

Step 1: Drink the whole can in under five minutes.
Step 2: Fall down, black out.
Step 3: Everybody’s happy.

How is this not a nationally prescribed therapy for stress relief?