Not every Tweet deserves a reply, nobody cares what you ate for lunch today and WE GET IT, you love Justin Bieber. Even with just 140 characters to spare, some Tweets can get really ugly.

Here are the seven most annoying types of Tweets in Lebanon. These are most definitely not amazeballs.


1. So you’ve had another burger

Some tweeps seem to miss out on hunger being a biological function. It’s like they have to tweet food pictures every time they have a meal or keep you updated on how many times they hug the Nutella jar. Well darling, your Starbucks is pretty photogenic, so are your burger and fries, but I still wouldn’t want to see that (unless you’re a food critic or something). And if you’ve had an extraordinary Zimbabwean dish for lunch and cannot contain the magnetic urge to share it, then there’s another place you should go that's more sympathetic to that kind of stuff. It's called Instagram.

2. Not your boyfriend again

A “with my baby” tweet is certainly not the way to demonstrate your love and commitment to your boyfriend/girlfriend. Whether you’re happy with your boyfriend, jealous of your ex’s new girlfriend, or living with 47 cats, your love life is strictly not Twitter material. So let’s just keep it private.

3. The up-out-OMW paradigm

I’m glad you woke up today but I still don’t understand why you chose to tweet “up” when any other tweet could’ve informed me that you’re still alive (well of course you’re tweeting). And unless you’re a travel blogger or something, I don’t care to know where you are either. Now if you’ve had the “best night ever” at the most awesome place in the world and want to make it easier for your IRL crush to keep track of your every move, there’s another special place on social media for that. It's called Foursquare.

4. Angry football commentator complex

What to expect on match day other than a timeline flooded with football tweets? While football enthusiasts (we do have a lot of them here) may get a kick out of the opportunity for spontaneous expression, the rest of us tweeps experience strong feelings of repulsion, especially when there’s more than one game happening at the same time. We’ve clearly had enough of “GOOOAAAAALLLLLL”.

5. Celebrity crushes gone wild

Being part of a Twitter fandom is great. But when mere fangirling turns into obsessive parasocial interaction, you’ve got to start worrying (about both yourself and other tweeps). There’s nothing wrong with sharing your love for a certain celebrity, but too much of it can ruin the Twitter experience for the rest of us. Honestly, I don’t want to wake up to 7,342 tweets about you idol’s pet and 187 pictures of your favorite band member’s tattoo. I just don't.

6. Inspirational quotes 101

There’s nothing wrong with tweeting inspirational quotes, but when you’re forced to read the “yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery” type of quote about a million times, it’s just not fun anymore. Recycled tweets. Ughhhh. Words get diluted and lose all meaning. Freshness and creativity make a tweet worth reading (and retweeting). Stop being so cliché.

7. After-blast jokes

Sadly enough, Lebanon has come to witness several bombings in the past few months. And with every new bombing comes a corresponding set of intending-to-be-funny but actually lame tweets. Yes we've all become to a certain extent numb to the violence. However, some jokes are totally unnecessary and political debates totally misplaced. Tweet responsibly.

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