So, you’ve heard we like to party, and you want to party just like us? To make things simple you could just throw on whatever clothes are in front of you, and head to Hamra or Mar Mikhael, meet some random people and pub-hop the night away. There’s bound to be some exciting band playing, a funny drunk guy who will propose to you at some point, or a bar fight over your pretty friend. Or, to be a genuine local and actually experience entertainment Arab-style, try and find a dabke party. It’ll be difficult since we’ve become so westernizedddd, but I promise you these parties are the best.

Now if you really want to go all out, here is another version of partying like a local that we can’t help but poke fun at – even if we have all admittedly been there and done that. But here goes nothing:

1. See where the party at

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Friday night, time to get cray, ay – where is the party goin’ down tonight? Is it MAD? Is it LIFE? Or could it be the new bad boy in the building, Uruguay Street? You need to figure this one out folks, because you can’t Gucci it unless you "gu ci" where it’s happenin’ - AMIRIGHT?

2. Reserve a table

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It’s 8:00 p.m. and you still haven’t reserved a table? No. Oh mon dieu. Mish ma32ool.

3. Dress to impress

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Take it as a rule of thumb, 83.7% of Lebanese love dressing up. Yes, we are the Paris (or was it Switzerland?) of the Middle East when it comes to style. Make sure you don’t forget to put on a lot of parfuuuum, so when you enter, the heads turn up and ask, “wow, what is zaaat smell?”

4. Elevator Snapchat selfie time

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Make-up on? New crocodile pants and designer knock-off bag over your arm? Alright. It’s now time to hope that the elevator is empty so that you can snapchat it before that crazy guy spills his drink on your face and ruins your mascara.

5. Figure out your ride

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Is Allo Taxi waiting outside for you? No? Too expensive? Ok, here’s the deal – holla at a service taxi instead, and park five minutes from your destination because, chances are, you won’t get in to the club if you arrive in a rundown, freaky service. (I told you, we’re classy).

6. Check your watch before stepping in, we’re also fashionably late

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We’re fashionably late to the point that we’re all fashionably late and it’s no longer fashionable. But be fashionably late, nevertheless.

7. Brace yourself, there’s bound to be some ducklips

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Ask the poor bartender to take a picture of you and your best friends, I’m sure he won't mind!

8. “I’m a good girl, I swear” all forgotten

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Have fun. Enjoy your night. Really, when the music is on, for once, no one really gives a crap what you’re doing. Dance on the table, live, forget, love and all the other stuff you’ve learned from Tumblr.

9. 2:00 a.m., and you’re sleepy? Fight the urge to sleep.

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Nothing good (or bad) happens until after 2:00 a.m. Get with the program, we party until well after sunrise here.

10. When your legs can no longer take it, it’s time to leave

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This is the best part of the night – everyone’s out of it, heels are off, people are half-asleep on the table, and drunken confessions are spilled. It’s okay to succumb to the feeling.

11. Time to eat anything but zaatar and zeit at Zaatar w Zeit

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Best part of the night, if you ask me. Get a table (no need for reservations this time) at ZwZ and, if you’re the sober one, take videos of your friends saying utter gibberish.

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It is sad that none of the gifs you used are representing lebanese...

Gab Ferneiné on Mar 13, 2014 via web