Hamra’s most notorious beggar Omar Nawwar, 56, admitted to reporters on Monday that he is in fact a self-made millionaire.
“I don’t know why it’s such a big deal. Begging is a profession like any other. I don’t have to be poor to do it,” said Nawwar, who according to sources, has been a Hamra fixture for over three decades. “I enjoy prowling the streets and meeting new people every day. It might not be the fanciest career, but I don’t like people judging me for it.”
Nawwar’s parents both ran successful businesses. “My father was actually one of Beirut’s top attorneys back in the day, and my mother owned a chain of pharmacies,” he continued. “One day I was sitting on the side of the road after twisting my ankle, and this lovely old lady gave me a few liras. That’s when the lightbulb went on and I realised… I enjoyed the experience!”
Jaber Aboud, a fellow vagabond who frequents Verdun, was shocked by the revelation. “Honestly, I am appalled. I’ve known Nawwar for years and this felt like a slap to the face. Some of us actually need the money!”
“I always felt there was something fishy about him”, said Mona Tawil, a seamstress who runs a little shop in Hamra. “He always seemed well-put together as opposed to the rest of the poor people you usually see on the streets. I guess you can never really trust anyone.”
Nevertheless, Nawwar has no regrets. “I don’t care what people say, I love my work and what I do, and in the end… isn’t that the most important thing?”
Disclaimer for the un-funny: This is an entirely fictionalized, satirical blog post. Happy April Fool's Day!
(Photo via Homeless Traveler.)