Listomania
Nur Turkmani

25 Ways You Know You Went (Or Still Go) To AUB

From the worst of horrors to the almost-peed-in-my-pants-from-laughing moments, if the below stereotypes are familiar to you, you know you went (or go) to AUB.

1. You felt like a boss when you got your acceptance letter
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This is particularly true if you’re an Arab – AUB has, and hopefully will continue to be, one of the most prestigious universities in the Middle East. And just admit it: you were beyond ecstatic when you got the email informing you of your acceptance. You tried to keep your cool, but even your parents bragged about it to their neighbors and friends who responded by rolling their eyes, forcing a smile and saying, “Ahhh, your child is at AUB? Yih, smallah, smallah. Allah ywaf2oo”.

2. Registration: The Horror
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When it’s registration period at AUB, you are bound to find students pulling out large chunks of their hair or screaming loudly in hallways about their hatred for the university (unless, of course, they are the lucky 2% that got the courses they wanted).

Every student wakes up early during registration period to ensure a spot in a course they really need, but lo and behold, one minute past eight and you come to the realization that seniors have filled up all the courses. You breathe quietly, and try to control your anger.

3. Starbucks who? Abu Naji’s coffee all the way
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When you’re an AUBite, $6 for coffee is a privilege not everyone can afford. Having Nescafe from Abu Naji or Epi D’or then becomes your daily ritual and your day doesn’t feel quite right without it.

4. All-nighters happen every other week
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Particularly if you’re an engineer or pre-med student, pulling an all-nighter isn’t some strange occurrence that only happens in the movies. It becomes a living, breathing reality every other week.

5. The Green Oval on sunny days <3

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There is nothing more relaxing than napping on the Green Oval when the weather is nice. Although it is dominated by the hipsters these days, on sunny days you will find a ton of different people napping, enjoying a bite or reading a book.

6. Chemistry stairs – damn you!
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The Chemistry stairs should simply not exist. It is, in fact, so bad that a day will not go by in AUB without hearing at least ten complaints about how unbearable these stairs are.

It is even worse when you have one class on the lower campus, and another on the upper campus right after.

7. Nicely’s numbering will forever be confusing
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Your first year at AUB will be spent trying to understand the odd-even arrangement of rooms on campus. You will also only figure out where room 108 Nicely is located on the last day of your senior year.

8. You’ve had a crush on at least one of your professors

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C’mon, admit it. There’s something about our professors, they’re charming, smart and good-looking. You can’t help but have a crush on one or two of them.

9. Math 201

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Everyone who has taken this course likes complaining about it, even if it’s not half as hard as other Engineering or Economics courses.

It has just become a thing to say: “maaaan, 201 shi kteer”.

10. Eng 203/204 courses are worse than your major courses

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Last time you checked, the courses were described as introductory courses that were simply meant to help you write a proper research paper. You signed up and thought to yourself, “Woohoo! No exam for this one!”

Now, you wish you had an exam in place of the loads of papers, presentations and critiques you have to write before the semester ends.

11. You join 20 clubs, and end up in one
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When it’s Club Day, you become overwhelmed with the plethora of awesome clubs (How could you not join the Astronomy Club or the Hiking Club?) but later on in the semester, you realize you ain’t got time for that shi* and end up missing all the meetings.

You promise yourself that next year you will manage your schedule to better accommodate your extracurricular activities. This, in fact, never happens.

12. AUB Outdoors/AUB’s Got Talent

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Forever the coolest events of the year.

13. Ultimate nightmare: moving in and moving out
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For every dorm student, having to pack and unpack when the semester is over is the worst thing ever. I mean, we finished our exams, what more do you want from us? Can’t I leave my stuff in the room, please? PRETTY PLEASE?

14. The cats.

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A cat once gave birth in a students’ dorm. Enough said.

15. 9 AM classes on MWFs?

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This is the infamous rush hour at AUB – feared by many.

16. Rainy days: a big no-no
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When it rains, you just know that the entire way from Main Gate to Bliss will be overflowing with umbrellas and people pushing past one another to get through.

17. Your summer is saved by AUB’s Beach

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A free beach in summer is everything you have ever asked for.

18. Jafet during exams: don’t even bother.

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Let’s just say tables in Jafet are probably booked two months prior to finals. I mean, how is it possible that for three days straight there has not been a single free table?

19. French power
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Oh, yes. You will hear French being spoken at the American University of Beirut much, much more than English or Arabic. You will eventually get used to it and maybe pick up a sentence or two by the end of your final semester.

20. The worst/best exams are in SLH

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There’s something about this hall that is sweat-inducing and nerve-racking, and no one really knows what it is. And you always know that if your tummy growls in SLH, everyone will hear it because it’s just that crowded.

On the upside, if there are no proctors, it will be the best exam ever.

21. Business students are stereotyped as dumb
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Business students are actually some of the smartest people you’ll meet. The stereotype on looks is not out of place though – OSB looks more like a fashion show than a Business building.

22. Pre-meds really do hate each other
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This one right here ain’t no stereotype. It gets to the point where calculators are stolen, glasses are broken and tears are shed.

23. Engineers speak in a weird dialect

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Friends from the Engineering department always come up with really weird terms to describe things like “I failed” which, to them, becomes “tajjaytu” or “I studied well” which becomes “barashtu”.

They’re also the loudest, usually – which is quite ironic since you’d expect them to be part of a nerd collective.

24. You avoid getting into debates with Politics/Philosophy students

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They’ve read too much and know too much, so before you open your mouth to say, “the women of this century are so superficial!” and notice one of them lurking around the corner, you remind yourself that you are not prepared to hear long arguments quoted directly from Toni Morrison’s books.

25. Fall back parties
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This is when you realize AUB might not be the nerd haven you thought it was – the entrance in itself to these parties is enough to make you realize there is a hidden partying culture here. It’s very exclusive. And you love/d it.