36 Thoughts That Go Through the Mind of Every Lebanese Girl On A Diet

1. Summer is here.
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2. You’ve been doing THIS all winter.
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3. And now you must wear a tight dress to the Skybar opening
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4. Which is in a week.
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5. Panic ensues.
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6. No one understands youuuuuuuu!
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7. Needless to say, you’ve got some work to do.
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8. Your besties have been asking if you gained a bit of weight.
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9. You can’t ignore them anymore.
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10. And you realize this isn’t going to count as working out.
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11. Monday is finally here. It’s time for that diet.
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12. Time to get real. The weekend was just practice.
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13. So you think, “I don’t need to look like Beyonce.”
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14. And “I don’t want to lose weight, I just want to be healthy.”
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15. “Maybe I don’t even need to lose weight, just tone up.”
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16. Nope.
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17. “Screw this. I want to look like a model. By Saturday.”
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18. So you hit the gym.
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19. Except it goes more like this:
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20. And this:
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21. And this?
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22. As for your diet…
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23. You totally love salad.
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24. And it’s ok, you’ll just have some water; it will fill you up.
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25. This new, healthy lifestyle is looking pretty great.
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26. You got this
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27. But then you get on the scale…
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28. And you’re still the same weight you were four days ago.
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29. Inno, it’s not your fault. Your metabolism sucks. Inno eh.
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30. 5alas. You gotta go see a doctor. You’re pretty sure you have a thyroid problem. You like, don’t even eat that much!
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31. Maybe if you get a spray tan you’ll look skinny.
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32. Yes, that’s it.
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33. Problem solved.
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34. And it’ll be dark at the club anyway
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35. So whatever.
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36. You’re good.
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