65 Thoughts You Develop Inside a Beirut Service

1. And here we go; glad there’s no one else in the cab.
2. Oh, good morning Mr. Driver!
3. [Stop looking at his mustache]
4. Should I throw in a friendly medium-sized smile?
5. Wait no I’m not gonna smile. A smile is always susceptible to initiate a conversation and I’m not exactly in the mood for that (I’m never in the mood for that but that’s another story).
6. Nod, nodding it is.
7. How about a discrete smile-nod combination?
8. Or perhaps a quick hand gesture.
9. Whoa did I just do all three?
10. There’s no going back now, I’m forever stuck in the conversational aspect of the smile-nod-wave triad. Super great.
11. Maybe I should move to the left side…
12. Shouldn’t he mention the weather or something?
13. I’ll just close this window.
14. Oh wait, my window is closed already…
15. The wind is ruining my hair.
16. Should I ask him to close his window?
17. Wait that could also initiate an unwanted conversation.
18. FOUR MINUTES?!
19. I’ve been here for four minutes and he didn’t say a word.
20. Well that’s a record, ladies and gentlemen.
21. Or maybe he’s a mute…
22. But wait he was humming Fairouz lyrics when I first got in.
23. MY HAIR IS RUINED.
24. How am I supposed to get through the day now?
25. The car just stopped.
26. Oh hello there fellow passenger!
27. [hey how about you walk faster because I’m late]
28. No you’re so not sitting next to me, right?
29. RIGHT??
30. [haha no]
31. Wait we’re wearing matching Converse sneakers.
32. Why am I even looking at his feet…?
33. I’m not gonna smile now.
34. Did he just say hi?
35. *flips hair*
36. I’ll just pretend to be texting, like yeah, I’m so busy texting.
37. Sorry I can’t acknowledge your existence because I’m texting.
38. Why are we listening to that useless morning show on the radio?
39. “A recent study proved that blueberries are good for your nose…” *overemotional Arabic song playing in the background*
40. Who pays you to pollute the airwaves with this nonsense?
41. [Just a friendly reminder that my hair is ruined]
42. Wait why are we taking this road?
43. I’ve never been here before…
44. Is that a shortcut?
45. Don’t kidnap me please.
46. I’m still young. I want to live.
47. And what’s with this dude’s suitcase?
48. Who are you, Michael Corleone?
49. Wait, that tree looks familiar.
50. Oh hello there, tree!
51. Should I pay the driver now?
52. We’re almost there…
53. *empties 97.5 percent of her purse in order to dig out the money*
54. Thank you Mr. Driver!
55. Congratulations, you just made it through an entire service ride without uttering a word.
56. Now I should make my way out in style.
57. Legs first.
58. Head first.
59. Legs first.
60. No head first.
61. *bumps head on the way out*
62. How graceful…
63. Hey, why are you staring at me?
64. I’m fine, I’m fine thank you.
65. [Legs first next time]