1. SO. MUCH. TRAFFIC.

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2. Jeeeeeeeez the valets are like little mafias.

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3. Wait, why is everyone standing *outside* the bars?

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Isn’t the whole point that we go *inside*.

4.Is this guy for real?

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Oh why yes stranger, please tell me more about how you discovered enlightenment living among impoverished kids in India whilst sipping your fourth $10 cup of shitty whisky. It’s just SO interesting!

5. Have you read...

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No, no I haven’t. Avert your judgmental eyes somewhere else.

6. Why is there an immense concentration of girls with half-shaved heads? Is this a new "thing"?

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7. Thrift stores...

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ARE NOT REALLY THRIFT STORES WHEN YOU'RE SELLING VINTAGE FOR $100.

8. You’re in band?!!!!

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Oh no way... whatttttt! That’s so original.

9. WTF is this song?

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10. Ok no seriously, WTF is this song?

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11. Yes, believe it.

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I totally don’t know this song. And you don’t either. So stop pretending OK? I’m on to you.

12. The guys are forward around here…

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13. So are the girls.

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14. Hmmm…

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15. No, I haven’t seen the new Game of Thrones

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So STFU or I will go all Red Wedding on your ass.

16. YO COPS WHERE YOU AT?

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I think I see a rolled up cigarette you can “inspect.”

17. Time to go. I can hear The Garten calling.

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