As this year’s World Cup morphs into a complex sequence of disappointments for the top teams and following a killer TL comeback, the Lebanese people’s overly dramatic tendencies have reached unprecedented levels. I'm calling for a football intervention, but first, I need some questions answered.

1. Why do you have three different flags on your car?

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Also arguile?????

2. Why is your baby posing for the camera in a Brazil Jersey?

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3. What does the Lebanese flag have to do with all this?

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4. Anyone cares to explain the groundbreaking logic behind post-match convoys?

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5. Don’t you think Almaza should consider giving away the special edition bottles of Spain, England and Italy for free now that they’re out?

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6. Do you have to tweet GOOOOOAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLL every time someone scores?

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7. How many flag emojis have you used in your last two WhatsApp conversations?

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8. Do you think Photoshopping your team’s flag on your face actually makes a cute profile pic?

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9. Are you going to make another joke about Télé Liban?

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10. Why does every girl suddenly know who Lavezzi is?

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Oh, okay…

11. Does the half football hanging off Le Mall Dbayeh’s façade remind you of a salad bowl?

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12. What are you planning to do with all those flags once the World Cup is over?

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