Selecting the right profile picture for Facebook is the single most important decision you will ever make. Well, not really – but we all act like it is. The sheer amount of time and effort that goes into cropping the picture so it will make your ex feel three seconds of regret is ridiculous, but fun! Here are the most popular picks for Facebook profile pictures and what they really mean.

The Happy Couple

(Image via Whicdn)

LOOK! I HAVE A BOYFRIEND/GIRLFRIEND. I AM WANTED. I AM DESIRED. SOMEBODY KISSES ME ALMOST WEEKLY.

The Poster For an Upcoming Event

(Image via Xclusive Touch)

You're that annoying club promoter everybody tries to avoid because you peer-pressure us into attending your crappy $120 minimum charge oversold crap event.

Your Car

(Image via I am couture dot me)

I didn’t know you were a transformer, how fun! Also, this car is probably the most interesting things about you.

Your Baby Picture

(Image via College Times)

We haven't seen each other since preschool so I'm going to assume you grew up to be ugly, didn't you?

Swimsuit Pic

(Image via Bravo TV)

Here are some likes to cover up your daddy issues. Use them wisely. There should be a program where you can exchange Facebook likes for therapy hours.

The Muscle Pose

(Image via Funny Malaysia)

Trying so desperately to show off your biceps tells us that you used to be lame in high school. You also probably failed a few times and your parents had to donate a basketball court to the school so you could stay enrolled. But all is well now because you’re on a steady diet of steroids, protein shakes, and an inflated sense of self worth.

The Same Photo You Signed Up With

(Image via Panda Whale)

You’ve managed to keep the same close-up picture since 2007. My guess is that you only log on to play Farmville and/or get Candy Crush invites.

A Political Leader

(Image via No Cookie)

Sure, we all did it in 2005 – but this is nine years later. It’s time for you to adopt a less annoying personality.

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