Listomania
Christina Fakhry

What it’s Like Inside the Mind of a Lebanese Drama Queen

On the outside: You’re about to say hi to a friend.

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On the inside:

(Image via Giphy)

Your brain has already scanned her full-length outfit and correlated the data to all the previous outfits you’ve seen her in, in order to reveal any potential similarities that would allow you to gossip about how she keeps on wearing the same jeans for the next three decades.

On the outside: You’re pinching the cheeks of a relative’s cute baby.

(Image via Giphy)

On the inside:

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You’re facing a spoiled brat who will steal your spotlight at every family reunion to come. You suddenly feel old. You even start considering saving a budget for face lift creams.

On the outside: You’re serving coffee to your mom’s guests.

(Image via Giphy)

On the inside:

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Your mind has delved into a complex conceptual assessment of your self-worth as a human and is now genuinely deliberating the possibility of you being an adopted child living in denial with a family of strangers.

On the outside: You liked a picture of your crush with an unknown girl on Instagram.

(Image via Giphy)

On the inside:

(Image via Giphy)

You’ve been absorbed into an infinite constellation of sigh-packed existential reflections about your cat lady destiny, susceptible to turn into a severe emotional crisis.

On the outside: It took your boyfriend over five minutes to reply to your text.

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On the inside:

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You started searching for killer breakup quotes to use in your end-of-relationship speech (you even mentally rehearsed the scene twice in different locations).

On the outside: You’re in a fitting room, trying on a pair of jeans.

(Image via Giphy)

On the inside:

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Your self-image has dropped to an all-time low, and your brain is preparing to replay the complete collection of sad moments that occurred in your life back-to-back, after five failed attempts to squeeze into a size 32.

On the outside: You’re applying eyeliner.

(Image via Giphy)

On the inside:

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The nerves in your right hand feel like they’re suffering from carpal tunnel syndrome as you try to retrieve what’s left of your kindergarten drawing skills from your long-term memory. You even start considering getting a “no one understands my pain” tattoo on your forehead.

On the outside: You’re at a wedding, acting all pretty.

(Image via Giphy)

On the inside:

(Image via Giphy)

Your brain is building a visual map of all the ugly dresses and hot guys you’ve come across during the evening. Your platform heels are undoubtedly higher than your social skills at the moment.