Listomania
Christina Fakhry

Ten Things That Should Actually Be Banned in Lebanon

After Tripoli’s mayor announced a ban on alcohol advertising in the northern Lebanon city earlier this month, and following a nationwide ethical awakening fueled by profound feelings of indignation (mostly from social media users) over the decision, we decided to propose our very own selection of things that should really be banned from the country.

1. Tattooed Eyebrows

(Image via Complex)

Those who dare inflict eyebrow tattoos upon the innocent faces of humanity should be charged with aesthetic murder. Lebanon’s female population is in deep need of a national eyebrow awareness campaign to soak up the disastrous facial outcomes of a decades-long eyebrow crisis. We urge all NGOs to cooperate.

2. Fireworks

(Image via Giphy)

I understand you’re getting married and all but I’m afraid Lebanon’s history of clashes, wars and bombings leaves no legitimate place for sound effects that make residents fear their impending death.

3. The Word “Istinkar”

(Image via Giphy)

The Arabic word for “disapprobation” and all its derivatives should be immediately scratched out of the political lexicon, if only for the national irritation it causes. Local political figures should start looking for more creative post-bombing vocabulary alternatives.

4. Turkish Soap Series

(Image via Caftan Senhaji)

I’m not sure if Lebanese TV or the Turkish National Broadcasting system is to blame, but I’m forever clueless as to why the trend happened in the first place. All I know is that it should end before another season of “Harim El Sultan” airs.

5. Celebratory Gunfire

(Image via Giphy)

We’re not going to delve into why a nut-job like you should be allowed to carry a firearm in the first place, but it’s really uncalled for – the way you unleash bullets into the sky like it’s the next Die Hard movie every time a political figure delivers a speech. The government should issue a celebratory gunfire ban already. There’s nothing to celebrate about bullets flying recklessly in the air.

6. Bemyeh

(Image via Heart n Soul Catering)

Pictures speak louder than words.

7. Burning Tires

(Image via Tumblr)

There’s either an unexplained abundance of tires on the Lebanese market or an unexplained abundance of nonsense. The Ministry of Information should probably convince a bunch of local celebrities to appear in a nationwide advertising campaign about the dangers of burning tires.

8. The Whole “Nefrah Mennik” Drama

(Image via Giphy)

This should be listed under invasion of privacy and psychological harassment, with charges doubled when used as a greeting. You think it’s just fine to embarrass innocent people at any given social occasion with no regard for their feelings of self-worth or life aspirations?

9. Cheesy Car Stickers

(Image via Bokja)

These fall somewhere between visual pollution and illegal dissemination of nonsense. Seriously though, why do we need ‘ma fi wafa-type’ statements on a public transportation vehicle?

10. Motorbike Showoffs

(Image via Facebook)

WHY????!!!!