Having a twitter account has become super common among regular social media users. New to the platform and not sure how to get started? No sweat, here's some things you can do to fit right in.

1. Try to create a new #hashtag every now and then.

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Who knows - maybe one day it will go viral and you will become the popular kid in town.

2. Put a reminder on your phone to hate on Mondays.

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Everybody's doing it.

3. Share with us your love for animals, books and fashion.

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Pretend everyone on your feed cares about what you say.

4. If someone doesn't follow you back, be a hater.

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Unfollow them and don't forget to say, "eno 7ayawen w sheyef 7alo."

5. Unless you have a PhD, you are not an expert of anything.

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Contrary to popular belief, the fact that you have a twitter account doesn't give you wide-reaching expertise in areas of politics, society and psychology.

6. You must support important causes.

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I mean c'mon, Gaza at least... or the Lebanese army.

7. You should throw in a Ziad Rahbani quote every once in a while

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It's par for the course.

8. Try to bash a popular food chain to get a free meal.

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The number of complaints I've seen sent to @Crepaway and @Roadster...

9. Check the saf7it l wafyet obituaries in the morning.

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La ma tensa t3aze ("Don't forget to mourn") on social media.

10. Mock strangers for supporting a cause or mourning the dead.

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Oh you tweeted about it already? It’s ok, no one will notice; we’re all hypocrites here.

11. Football, phew I almost forgot this one!

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Whenever watching a sports match, make sure to tweet every single detail - like goals, fouls, your opinion about the referees and the players.

And in the end, always try to look cool and original... just like everyone else.

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From a Retweet to a Marriage... Interview on Sep 1, 2014


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