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Lama Hajj

Area Woman Admits to Loving Gaza Refugees More Than Local Refugees

Natalie Ferniene is your typical modern day activist. Actually, that is an understatement; for it would be difficult to find a person with more status updates about human rights abuses on Facebook. No, she never seems to miss an opportunity to unleash a new Facebook status as soon as the sh*t hits the fan. But lately, Natalie has been facing some serious personal demons. The girl who loves to have an opinion about everything is coming to terms with the fact that she prefers Palestinian refugees in Gaza over the refugees in Lebanon. We caught up with Natalie to get a statement on this matter.

“When I first realized that I prefer refugees in Gaza, I knew I wouldn’t be able to tell my friends and family,” Natalie admitted to Beirut.com as she shook her head, a defeated expression on her face.

“It’s just that they’re just so much cuter,” said Ferniene, 29, adding, “and when they’re far away, it’s easier for me to miss them.”


(Image via Natural Healing Omaha)

The young barista has a long history of social media activism starting with her support for displaced Iraqi children on her MySpace page dating back to 2001. “Back then, I remember liking the fact that they were in Iraq. When I wanted to check on them, I would just run a quick Google search – I didn’t have to see them in person, it’s just less pressure that way,” said Ferniene.

Ferniene confided to reporters on Wednesday that she believes in her heart that most people feel the same way she does, but are not brave enough to admit it. “I sign in every morning only to be bombarded with hundreds of likes and comments on pictures of Gaza. I really believe in my heart that people enjoy their personal space when it comes to refugees, and keeping them a mere 30 miles away just makes them seem more desirable. After all, absence truly does make the heart grow fonder.”

Sources have communicated the local refugees’ disbelief of this preferential refugee treatment. “We’re right here” claimed an anonymous inhabitant of Sabra camp, “what about my Facebook shares?”

In a related development, we recently found out that Natalie has dedicated all her social media efforts to supporting the Christians of Iraq.

Disclaimer for the un-funny: This was a satirical post.