Listen up newbies: stepping onto a college campus for the first time freshman year is terrifying (we’ve all been there). As you prepare to hit up the big leagues this September, here’s a constellation of college facts that may or may not make your life easier.
1. Orientation is Pointless
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We’re not saying you should skip orientation – don’t. You’ll get to meet a few nice people and memorize a building or two. Still, it’s hardly ever as informative as a disoriented newbie would expect. Scanning the university website is a more productive endeavor.
2. Never Mess with the Cats
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Benches, green corners and comfortable couches are incontestable cat territory. When harassed by a cat on campus, number six on this list is probably your only cat-free alternative.
3. Student Elections are a Manifestation of Petty Politics
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When an older student you barely know is suddenly being nice to you, there’s a 90% chance they want you to support their candidate in the student elections. Don’t be fooled by seasonal manifestations of kindness. You can very well get through college without the turmoil of political affiliations.
4. There Will Always Be a Better-Dressed Girl in Your Class
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I know how hard you’ve worked towards building a decent college wardrobe and wholeheartedly appreciate the aesthetic effort you’ve channeled into your fashion choices over the past few months. But no matter how hard you try, you’ll most probably stumble upon the ultimate fashionista on your first day of class. She’s got enough killer fashion moves to keep you haunted for the rest of your academic life.
5. Huge Notebooks are a Big No
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I still don’t understand why some students insist on lugging 200-page hard-cover copybooks complemented by a fully-equipped pencil case stuffed with markers in all colors of the rainbow to university when a small notebook and blue pen would do it. And please don’t make use of the Engineering student excuse. You can very well have your notes divided upon three tiny notebooks instead of burdening your existence with an impractical paper monster.
6. The Library is Your Only Refuge
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You’ll find yourself at some point in an awkward situation where you have nothing to do, nowhere to go and no available friends to hang out with. Quench prospective feelings of hopelessness with a small trip to the library. Not that into books? Most college libraries have insane DVD collections, all you have to do is ask.
7. Campus Maps are Actually Useful
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Finding the right building on campus will most probably feel like wandering inside an unsolvable maze for the first few days. To avoid having your friends come to your rescue every time, save a screenshot of the campus map to your phone. You can find these maps on your college website, they’re usually very simple and informative.
8. Empty Classes Offer a Better Study Environment than the Library
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Taking over an empty class for study purposes is not considered invasion of property. If you ever feel like things are getting too loud at the library or just want to spend some time on your own, vacant classes are the place to go.
9. Don’t Call Your Doctor “Miss”
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Let’s say it’s just as unfortunate as calling your school teacher “mom”.
10. Appearance Matters
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On your very first week of classes, you’ll begin to realize your dreaded school uniform was actually a blessing. Appearance struggles could range from a mildly bad hair day to an unforgivable outfit of choice. The more clothes you own, the higher your chances of screwing this one up. Get ready, endless I-have-nothing-to-wear mornings are coming your way.
11. No One Wants to Hear About your Prom
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School is over, mate. Your prom, prom date and after-prom are unwelcome topics of conversation (everyone turns out to have had a better prom than yours anyway). They’re like the college version of weather talk.
12. Front Row Students are Not the Smartest
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They just come early, you can trust me on that.