The definition of a cougar is an older woman who frequents bars and clubs in order to score younger men. In Lebanon, the definition is taken one step further when said women get copious amounts of plastic surgery to the point where she may look like an actual cougar, as in, a large mountain cat.

Restaurants and bars in Lebanon are slightly segregated by age group, with some catering to pubescent kids embarking on their drinking journey (Captain’s Cabin) and others to an older, more mature crowd (Music Hall.) Cougars find a middle ground by choosing to go to places that cater to both young men and older crowds.

I admire cougars for many reasons; I even hope to be one someday. The primary reason I admire them is the fact that they still care enough to take care of their appearance and put effort into looking presentable. When I’m in my fifties, I fully intend on walking around like a crazy person and eating whole bags of Chex Mix while chugging vodka at eleven in the morning. Another thing I admire about cougars is their ability to suck the life force out of college boys. So, this isn’t making fun of older women, but more of a guide for younger men who want to experience the joy of finding one of these crazy, older women.

Pacifico

(Image via CASC Wild)

Sometimes it feels like you can’t walk two steps down Monot Street without tripping on some woman’s lip injections. Pacifico is by far my favorite place in Monot, and probably in Beirut, serving amazing food and margaritas. Interestingly enough though, something strange happens at Pacifico every Sunday after dark; the place gets run over by a gaggle of cougars. So while you’re enjoying your chips and salsa, take a look around and allow yourself to be captivated by a diva waiting for you to lock eyes and notice her flirty advances.

Pacifico
Monot Street
Monot
Tel.: +9611204446

Garcia’s

(Image via Alpha Coders)

Another one of my favorites, Garcia’s in Hamra is a wonderful corner of paradise for women on the prowl. Playing the finest hits ABBA has to offer, this guacamole-serving joint is clearly a safe haven for cougars, and with the large bathroom mirror provided, they get to re-touch that sparkling eye shadow. You can sing along to ‘Dancing Queen’ while being eye-banged by a bunch of fresh divorcées who are looking to get their groove back. Help them get their groove back.

Garcia's
Nehme Yafet Street
Hamra
Tel.: +9611738538
Mob.: +9613578538

Central Station

(Image via hg2beirut)

Head over to Central Station in Mar Mikhael and prepare to be bombarded by a bevy of chardonnay-guzzling walking breast-lifts. Central Station’s strictly enforced dress-code policy will ensure that the women will be dressed in the finest clothes their ex-husbands could afford. As the night progresses and the white wine flows, random women will be laughing increasingly louder as they get liquored up. Keep an eye on these women in particular; for they are the queens of the cougars, they’re your best shot at scoring with an older woman.

Central Station
Alexandre Fleming Street
Mar Mikhael
Mob.: +96171736737

Mandaloun Café

(Image via pgcps mess)

This fine establishment in Achrafieh truly serves a dual purpose. Not only can you nab some of the finest socialite cougars Lebanon has to offer, but you also get the added bonus of resolving some of those daddy issues by picking up one of the many silver foxes in attendance. Enjoy some delicious quiche while you watch a long-boobed beauty try to tame her freshly tucked forehead.

Mandaloun Café
Mar Mikhael St.
Tel.: +9611565333
Mob.: +9613434333

Honorable Mention: Purple Moon

(Image via Tumblr)

Before it closed down earlier this year, Purple Moon was a holy cougar shrine, so we wanted to offer it an honorable mention. The bar in Gemmayzeh was bombarded by a bevy of satin strapless dresses and gross shiny stockings. The white wine and Red Label whiskey would flow endlessly, and as the night progressed, random women would grab the microphone and sing their rendition of whatever cliche female power disco song they knew by heart (usually “I Will Survive.”) These were the queens of cougars, and your best shot at scoring with an older woman.

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