So, some of your best friends went abroad to get a masters degree in English crumpets for a year, or maybe they just went for a quick semester abroad. You miss them; you look forward to the winter and spring so you can hang out with them again and have some fun. But your expectations can often be quite different from reality; though you expect smooth and enjoyable visits from your old pals, this is what normally happens:

(Note: I’ll be focusing on London because it is by far the most annoying one.)

They've acquired an accent/weird fashion sense

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Okayyyy so I don't remember you loving cowboy boots and dresses so much, but sure! Wait, what’s a loo? And did you just call that guy a wanker?! I understand that you went on a little journey of fashionable self-discovery, and who knows? Maybe you got addicted to going to those "UGH-mazing" flea markets, but take off your John Lennon-esque sunglasses and snap out of it. Thank you.

They want to party

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All they want to do is party and drink... on a Wednesday... until 7 am. The phrase, "forget work man, who cares? Let’s have fifteen shots!" comes up a lot. Yes, why don’t I just quit my job for the entire duration of your stay so I can cater to your needs?

They criticize the country

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“Ohhhh you don’t have a metro? In London, we commute so easily by metro! *walks ten steps* This would be so much easier if we could just take the metro.” Really bitch? Sorry, I’ll just gut the entire infrastructure and build a metro immediately so you don’t experience any separation anxiety from your two month stay in London.

Stories galore

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We get it, you have enjoyable tea times that make you feel fancy and you get to sit in a large park. At least we have summertime (ohhhh burn). I must look like Oprah to some people because they will also regale me with long stories about that one night they snuck into a stupid park after dark and peed in the bushes and drank a beer. You had to be there. Great story.

They order really weird drinks

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“Can I have a Pimms with three drops of grapefruit and five strawberries and a splash of melon soda?” No, no you can’t have any of that.

You have to do as they please

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Of all the ways to annoy their local friends, this one is by far the worst. They’re only here for a few weeks, so be prepared to be dragged to Skybar then have to satisfy their after-dark manouche cravings from that one place located hours outside of Beirut. Good times.


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actually ,this one's good ,funny author

Mario Harika on Sep 13, 2014 via web