Though he may have the adoration of many, silver fox George Clooney has not yet managed to capture the heart of one Lebanese woman, Elsa Azar. Serving as an account executive at a prominent advertising agency in Beirut, Azar claims to have a severe dislike for George Clooney dating back to when he was a heartthrob doctor on the hit soap-opera ER.

“I remember seeing his butt-chin and thinking: 'no, no I do not like that at all,'” says Elsa.

Elsa’s hatred was exacerbated once the soap star became a huge Hollywood icon and notorious playboy. However, the straw on the camel’s back was the announcement of Clooney’s engagement to Amal Alamuddin, a British lawyer with Lebanese roots. Elsa’s world fell apart.

“When I found out he was engaged to a Lebanese person…” Elsa’s voice trailed off. “I just couldn’t believe this was happening to me. I am a good person, a church-goer, a person who serves her community! Why was God doing this to me?”

Young Elsa felt so personally victimized by Clooney’s newfound Lebanese ties that her co-workers said she failed to show up for work the entire week after his engagement was announced.

“I think she really hates him,” claimed Rami, 29.

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Life for Elsa has been calm since she came to terms with the engagement, her close friends reassuring her that the wedding will not be held in Lebanon. “I’ll just never understand it, how much women love him. He has gray hair, I thought looking old was bad. I will just never understand” Elsa says firmly.

As of publishing time, Mr. Clooney's rep could not be reached for comment.

Disclaimer for the un-funny: This was a satirical post.

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