Heels. Ugh. Can’t live with them, can’t live without 'em! Some days I can't wait to come back home and throw them off, other days I feel like I could wear them forever. Here's a look at what runs through the mind of every girl who has ever worn heels.

1. "I shouldn’t have worn heels today."

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It hurts like hell to get to class, but they fit perfectly with my outfit! Do they have to make so much noise on the stairs? Ugh, gotta hurry, I’m late for class! Help me shoes, help me!

2. "That’s it, I’m buying flats."

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I have only one rule in life: never wear heels to the mall. Never. Wait, another escalator? That’s it, I’m buying flats. You heard me! I’ll be right back.

3. "I feel like the queen of the office!"

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Heels at work impart a girl with confidence and motivation. Just don't take it too far and turn you office hallway into a runway. Back to work.

4. "Please don't fall. Please don't fall."

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Ok, I lied. I have another rule: never wear heels on a first date. The best first dates are spontaneous and fun, and most of the time, you don't know exactly where you'll be going or what you'll be doing. One second you could be looking all fierce like Tyra Banks at New York Fashion Week, and the next, your ass is in the grass. Literally. End scene.

5. "Are we there yet?"

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Cobblestone and heels go together like a fish out of water... they don't. For a long night of partying, really, it's best to wear flats. Otherwise, you'll be saying things like: "Why, God, why did I do this to myself?! Hold my hand, walk slowly! Are we at the bar yet?”

6. "I look hot."

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Flaunting the perfect dress also means wearing the best heels. “I look great. I know I do. Oh heels, how I love you! You were made for this night. What did you say? You like my dress? Oh thank you! I look good. I look hot. I am the hottest girl in this club! I’m the hottest girl in the world! Pfft. Nicole Scherzinger, who?”


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So your boyfriend stops by suddenly and tells you to get ready because you’re going out. You get excited and put on your favorite heels, and hop in the car, eagerly awaiting him to tell you where you are heading, only to find out it’s in the ‘jroud’. The date is in Kfardebian, or Faqra, or someplace in the mountains near his hometown, where you might be hanging out with other people, too, to eat and drink beer.

This happened to me, and I remember one single horrible thought: “DID I JUST STEP INTO MUD?!”

8. "My family will think I look classy."

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The extended family’s gathered to eat lunch. The good news is you’ll look good in family pictures wearing heels. The bad news is this is the worst attire for chasing your little cousins around the house.

9. "Wait, what? ‘Dabke’? Um, no, change of plans."

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Here’s what goes on in my mind during a wedding: I paid over $200 for these shoes. Take as many pictures of me as you like, but I can only dance for 2.5 seconds before collapsing on the floor. Whoops, hi floor!


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Few feelings in life compare to the moment you get home after wearing heels all day, chuck them off immediately, and settle your feet into some nice fuzzy, slippers. Ah, the glory.

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