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Lebanese Prime Minister Sends Care Package to Ukraine

On Tuesday, sources close to Lebanese Prime Minister Tammam Salam disclosed that he had sent a large care-package to Ukraine after seeing news footage of rebels clashing with soldiers on the streets of Donetsk, which left at least 12 people dead and several dozens injured.


(Image via Rational Republic Blog)

The prime minister was apparently “deeply saddened by what he saw on television” and felt compelled to act personally. “It is heartbreaking to watch a country break at the seams, I can only hope that they may find it in themselves to put their differences aside and do what is best for the people,” added Salam, whose government took 330 days to be formed due to political deadlock.

It is rumored that the care package includes the first four seasons of the hit E! Network show “Keeping Up With The Kardashians,” two blankets, one box of the Lebanese delicacy Tarboush and three hard hats donated by the Lebanese army. “The Prime Minister was trying to send a piece of himself and a piece of Lebanon, it was very important to him that the package have a personal touch, he really hopes the Tarboush gets delivered intact,” our source shared.

Prime Minister Salam further commented on the Ukrainian crisis after a lengthy cabinet meeting discussing the Lebanese presidential elections impasse, “It is unacceptable for people to be killed in the streets, it is appalling when governments can’t protect their own people,” stated Prime Minister Salam, adding, “we must stand up and help our brothers in Ukraine – also, our sisters too.”

There is word that the PM has started the paperwork to establish a relief fund for the people of Ukraine, which will funnel Lebanese tax money directly to the people who need it most.

Disclaimer for the un-funny: This was a satirical blog post.