When we were all wee little children, we dreamed of the day we would become adults. We fantasized about having jobs and freedom, responsibilities and the ability to pave our own paths with no one to answer to. Idiots. This is how adulthood has turned out so far:
Driving
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Expectation: I’ll drive to Jbeil every day and stare at the endless sea – I’ll take my friends and we’ll laugh in the car the whole ride up. We’ll go on road trips every weekend and discover the vast lands; we’ll be young and free, and make memories that can only be rivaled by the cast of Friends.
Reality: I would rather walk and take four cabs than deal with my road rage, parking rage, valet rage, and general rage.
Work
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Expectation: We’ll get riveting and sexy jobs where we’ll grow to be riveting and sexy people who take control of their lives. There will be cool meetings and sexy bosses.
Reality: I often fantasize about my coworkers catching Ebola.
Partying
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Expectation: We will have the most epic nights of drinking and debauchery that will put all other parties to shame.
Reality: Okay, so a new Orange is the New Black season was just released on Netflix so don’t message me for the next three weeks. After that, American Horror Story starts. So let’s just forget I exist for a couple of months.
Dating
(Image via The Down Low)
Expectation: Meeting cool and sexy people, going on amazing dates, and kissing under the stars.
Reality: Some guy won’t stop messaging me lengthy Arabic poems on WhatsApp.
Fashion
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Expectation: I will be the ultimate style icon; people will stop me on the streets to compliment me on my brave, yet understated look.
Reality: Nobody saw me wearing these pants yesterday so I can wear them again today.
Lifestyle
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Expectation: I’ll wake up and go to the gym, have brunch with my best friends, spend time with my boyfriend, then have drinks with everybody.
Reality: Breakfast, lunch, and dinner with my crippling self-doubt.