Local Lebanese man Karim Atallah has returned to his homeland after a grueling trip to New York City that lasted a mere five months and left him with a lifetime of shattered dreams.

Atallah, 25, had embarked on the journey earlier this year with big plans that quickly turned into big disappointments. Leaving his northern village of Akkar with what he thought was an original idea to open the very first falafel shop in NYC, Karim was in for quite the surprise.


(Image via Becuo)

“When I first landed in NYC or the Big Apple, as we call it, I immediately went to the first supermarket I could find and bought out their entire stock of chickpeas and fava beans. It cost me $5,750 – all that I had,” Atallah told Beirut.com.

The young entrepreneur had rented a shoebox of an apartment in Queens where he planned to do most of the food preparations. “I was planning on making the falafel mix at home, transporting it on the subway, and then frying it right outside the New York Public Library where there would be many people in need of an oily snack. I would sell one falafel for $32 because Americans are rich, right?”

Like many immigrants, Atallah had a one-year plan of becoming a multi-billionaire. The plan was to sell the delicious Lebanese wraps until he had enough money to buy out Donald Trump from “all his investments.” However, his plans went awry during his first walk down Times Square or, “the square” as he insisted on calling it several times. Much to his dismay, Karim saw countless falafel vendors, ruining his dream of being the first.

“I still don’t know how falafels found their way to New York City, everybody in my town was sure I would be the first. I was going to make billions.”

As of publishing time, Atallah was looking into the possibility of becoming a hummus vendor on the streets of Sweden, claiming that he was sure they didn't already have it.

Disclaimer for the un-funny: This was a satirical blog post.

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Hahahahahah! BURN.

Angie Nassar on Oct 27, 2014 via web
 
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Yay! good luck in all your endeavors. Never call me sweetheart again. Also, learn how to spell sweetheart.

Lama H on Oct 27, 2014 via web
 
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his northern village of Akkar .... Akkar is a mouhafaza sweet heart , one day when I have enough money I will travel to the republic of beirut and start my own tourism business to introduce bright minds like yours to the republic of Lebanon

Mardakouch Isaakian on Oct 27, 2014 via web