As part of my undying effort to remain single and alone for as long as possible, I have decided to disclose some of the worst-kept secrets, tricks, and moves girls use in order to lure in men who are probably already interested.

Remember: men are attracted to most women with a pulse, and sometimes even that can be negotiable. These “sexy mistakes” are not mistakes at all, but rather calculated and plotted, and usually the result of D-rate advice authored by Cosmo Magazine, the magazine that probably kills hundreds of people every month with its hazardous sex tips.

1. The g-string/thong over the jeans

(image via Spy Ghana)

Oops… look what happened, my underwear strap is peaking over my jeans. What a big and sexy mistake. Look at this intimate and special preview of what you could get if you buy me enough gin and tonics.

2. Lip-biting

(image via Watt Pad)

Let me just stare at my phone for a few minutes while seductively biting my lower lip… granted, I am reading a text from my mom asking if I would eat koussa for lunch, but let’s pretend like it’s a sexy text message that I need to ponder and think about.

P.S. Mom, I never want koussa, ever.

3. Bra-strap feature

(image via Women Riders Now)

This carefully calculated move is one that features a top that slides over the perfect amount to reveal one shoulder in a sexy display of “just enough skin.” Added points if you pretend to be shocked that your bra has been showing all day.

4. Bending over

(image via Tumblr)

Teachers knew what they were doing when they did this, they were seducing us. Let me just make a huge deal out of picking up this paper I dropped. We can blame Reese Witherspoon’s thespian stylings in the 2001 classic, Legally Blonde for the extended version of this phenomenon.

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