Lebanese Pop Star Dedicates Breast Implants To Army

The Lebanese music scene is used to a flurry of charitable activity towards the army, but this year, the buzz is fueled by a pair of breast implants that have captivated the masses.

With a brave heart and an open chest, famed Lebanese pop singer AnaChristaBella has decided to dedicate her newest breast implants to the heroes of the Lebanese army. This announcement came shortly after several singers and public figures dedicated songs and performances to the army. But the always unique AnaChristaBella (AnaChrista for short or, Ana for shorter) wanted to do something different.

“I wanted to show the army how much I truly love it, I really, really love it,” shared the eloquent singer.

(Image via Slate)

“When it was time for me to advance my career and move from a medium C cup to a large D cup, I thought it was the perfect opportunity to give back – none of us would be here without the Lebanese army. They are alive in our hearts, so they might as well take our breasts.”

Stating that the Lebanese army and its martyrs is a case that is close to both her breasts and her heart, the buxom singer vowed that the army’s sacrifices wouldn’t go unnoticed, and that every time her breasts would grace the stage, it would be as if a million of the army’s finest men were up there with her.

The tone-deaf diva went on to add how much she loved the Lebanese cedar, claiming that her next chesticular upgrade will definitely be related to a cedar, somehow.

Sources shared that this dedication was only the first step in the pop star’s journey, revealing that her implants were abreast of plans to release an entire album for the army titled “Notes From My Chests.” As of press time, the Lebanese Army Commander had yet to comment on the moving gesture.

Disclaimer for the unfunny: This was a satirical blog post.