In place of what was supposed to be the ultimate bonding experience between mother and daughter rages a sea of contempt.

Botox-enthusiast Sara Zein has waited a long sixteen years to be able to gift her daughter a nose job on the eve of her sixteenth birthday, only to be faced with vehement refusal from 16-year-old Melissa who thinks she doesn’t need one. This event has sparked both outrage and heartbreak in the Zein household.


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“This was supposed to be our time to make a memory together, I would have someone drive her to the hospital then have somebody pick her up…it would have been perfect, but she ruined my dreams for the both of us.” “I just don’t know where I went wrong,” wept the elder Zein, age unknown.

“Did I not leave enough magazines around the house? Did I somehow teach her that looks don’t matter and she can look like a pile of garbage with a human nose?”

It appeared that Zein’s primary concerns were other people judging her parenting skills and possibly viewing her as an unfit and careless mother. Zein stated on more than one occasion that her family and friends were surely thinking that she could not afford to give her daughter the nose job she barely needs, and pondered how that may affect her future of being invited to charity lunches and events.

“I always made sure to bring up her weight whenever I could, maybe I should have focused a little more of my energy on her face and her nose, maybe then we wouldn’t be in this mess,” added Zein defeated. “Don’t I deserve to take my daughter out and have all my friends comment on how much more beautiful she has gotten?”

Melissa’s comments were more succinct than her mother’s, simply stating that she thinks her mother should “go f*ck herself.”

Disclaimer for the un-funny: This was a satirical blog post.

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