Were you out this weekend and noticed a girl with RBFS (Resting Bitch Face Syndrome) trying to listen in on your conversation? That was me!
Congratulations, you’ve probably earned a spot on this list of six conversations I overheard this weekend.
(N.B. Some have been translated from Arabic.)
1. Two Girls, One Guy, and Madonna
Girl A: Everyone here looks like they’re from the 90’s. Guy: I love the 90’s, Madonna w heik. Girl A: What’s that movie with her in it about Argentina? Girl B: Evita? Girl A: No…
2. Awkward Couple on a Date
Girl: Is your dad dead? Guy: No, why? Girl: I don’t know, just asking. *two minutes of painful silence* Girl: My dad is alive too.
3. A Couple Dueling over iPhone/Samsung
Guy: If Samsung isn’t good anymore we can buy HTC phones, Ramzi has one and it has the best screen. Girl: No way I’ll ever hold an HTC. Guy: Shu bikkeh? (Arabic for, “what’s wrong with you?”) Girl: LG, HTC, no way. We can get iPhones but let’s wait until the new one comes out. Guy: When is it coming out? Girl: How would I know I don’t work in computers!
4. Douchebag and the Bartender
Douchebag: Man do you have something like a cocktail but with absinthe in it? Bartender: Sure, I can make you something with gin, absinthe, and orange juice. Douchebag: Leik bro can I have a red label and ice?
5. Two Political Geniuses Hash it Out
Political Genius A: Man, are you seeing what’s happening in Egypt and Yemen? Political Genius B: What? The elections or something? They’re like pissed now? Political Genius A: I’m not sure exactly what’s happening but it’s f*cked.
6. The Sushi Connoisseurs Who Belong Together
Female connoisseur: I love sushi but not the raw fish ones. Male connoisseur: *too enthusiastically* Exactly! Me too, don’t know how they eat the slimy fish! Female connoisseur: I just like the crab ones or the cucumber and avocado, I used to make them at home. Male connoisseur: Me too, and the Philadelphia cheese ones are good. Plus raw fish is very bad for you, it can give you infections and viruses. Female connoisseur: I know, it’s so bad. Male connoisseur: When is your birthday?