Were you out this weekend and noticed a girl with RBFS (Resting Bitch Face Syndrome) trying to listen in on your conversation? That was me!

Congratulations, you’ve probably earned a spot on this list of six conversations I overheard this weekend.

(N.B. Some have been translated from Arabic.)

1. Two Girls, One Guy, and Madonna

Girl A: Everyone here looks like they’re from the 90’s.
Guy: I love the 90’s, Madonna w heik.
Girl A: What’s that movie with her in it about Argentina?
Girl B: Evita?
Girl A: No…

2. Awkward Couple on a Date

Girl: Is your dad dead?
Guy: No, why?
Girl: I don’t know, just asking.
*two minutes of painful silence*
Girl: My dad is alive too.

3. A Couple Dueling over iPhone/Samsung

Guy: If Samsung isn’t good anymore we can buy HTC phones, Ramzi has one and it has the best screen.
Girl: No way I’ll ever hold an HTC.
Guy: Shu bikkeh? (Arabic for, “what’s wrong with you?”)
Girl: LG, HTC, no way. We can get iPhones but let’s wait until the new one comes out.
Guy: When is it coming out?
Girl: How would I know I don’t work in computers!

4. Douchebag and the Bartender

Douchebag: Man do you have something like a cocktail but with absinthe in it?
Bartender: Sure, I can make you something with gin, absinthe, and orange juice.
Douchebag: Leik bro can I have a red label and ice?

5. Two Political Geniuses Hash it Out

Political Genius A: Man, are you seeing what’s happening in Egypt and Yemen?
Political Genius B: What? The elections or something? They’re like pissed now?
Political Genius A: I’m not sure exactly what’s happening but it’s f*cked.

6. The Sushi Connoisseurs Who Belong Together

Female connoisseur: I love sushi but not the raw fish ones.
Male connoisseur: *too enthusiastically* Exactly! Me too, don’t know how they eat the slimy fish!
Female connoisseur: I just like the crab ones or the cucumber and avocado, I used to make them at home.
Male connoisseur: Me too, and the Philadelphia cheese ones are good. Plus raw fish is very bad for you, it can give you infections and viruses.
Female connoisseur: I know, it’s so bad.
Male connoisseur: When is your birthday?

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