Do you remember the last time your date picked you up for dinner and then shyly kissed you at the end of the night? No? Neither do I.

Do you remember the last time someone texted you “u up?” then proceeded to send you a picture of their genitals? Yeah, me too.

Technology has joined forces with high libidos and our generation’s rampant trust issues to effectively kill romance. These are a few of the accomplices:

1. Bae


Previous pet names that were endearing and loving such as: sweetheart, my love, honey etc. have been replaced with a clipped and misspelled form of babe known as "bae."

2. Camera Phones


Now that everybody and their mother has a camera phone, you don’t need to wait too long before seeing your love interests’ genitals. They will send you a badly-lit photo pronto. Next time somebody sends you an “intimate photo,” think of all the work that went in to it. First he unbuckled his britches, and then proceeded to take several shots of his penis from various angles and lighting. Most of these D's probably looked like an angry bald man or a weird, skinless snake. Then he scrolled through them and sent one to you. LOVE.

3. DTF


The use of the question DTF? (Down To F*ck?) probably marks the definitive death of the sexual hunt. That, and nd Tinder.

4. Tinder


With Tinder alive and kicking, the process of courting someone has been reduced to swipe left/swipe right. Everyone has a GPS for their genitals now, and we don’t want it any other way.

5. Caring is Frowned Upon, And Cell Phone Games Are Cool


It has become rare for us to exhibit human emotions, because why would you – right? Instead of showing that you care, it is now considered cool and sexy to play emotional games via text. Don’t text him/her back immediately, don’t pick up their phone calls, definitely don’t show that you’re interested in them, and keep your emotions and reactions extremely robotic. You’ll have a marriage proposal within a month.

6. Song Lyrics


Bobby Darin’s 1946 hit “Beyond The Sea”
I know beyond a doubt
My heart will lead me there soon
We'll meet, I know we'll meet, beyond the shore
We'll kiss just as before
Happy we'll be beyond the sea
And never again I'll go sailin'


Kanye West’s 2010 hit “Lost In The World”
If we die in each others’ arms
Still get laid in the afterlife


AND…

Kanye West’s 2010 hit “Runaway”
I sent this b*tch a picture of my d*ck

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