Let’s Get Drinks: Lebanese Edition

In olden times, all you had to do in order to avoid someone was to not be physically near them.

Now, it’s gotten more complex; there are hundreds of platforms for people to harass you on making it extremely difficult for you to snub someone – and if you are planning on performing a snubbing, you need to be careful of any opposing evidence that may surface.

For example, you can’t say that you’re sick and are going to stay home that night and then get tagged in a picture on Instagram with the caption, “And at night we party *emoji, emoji, emoji*” – or something equally ridiculous.

That being said, Lebanese girls have mastered the art of false promises and putting off scheduled meetings, normally the conversations go as follows:

(N.B. This is based on an idea originally posted in The New Yorker.)

(Image via Mirror)

Girl A: Yiiiiii I miss youuuu.
Girl B: I miss youuuuuuuuuuuu.
Girl A: When are we gonna hang out?
Girl B: OMG we need to! When is good for you?
Girl A: Any time, habibi – I literally do nothing all day.
Girl B: I swear I do nothing at all, just pick any day.
Girl A: Okay, this Thursday?
Girl B: Yiiii I promised my mom I would go shoe shopping with her! By the way, I loved your selfie on Instagram.
Girl A: Thank you! Of course, go shopping with your mom! Say hi to her for me, I miss her so much.
Girl B: I will! She misses you too.

*Two weeks later*

Girl A: OMG I love your selfie on Instagram! Hayeteeee you look gorgeous!
Girl B: Thank youuuuuuu, you’re the gorgeous one!
Girl A: No, you’re the gorgeous one!
Girl B: No, you’re the gorgeous one!
Girl A: No, you’re the gorgeous one!
Girl B: NO, YOU’RE THE GORGEOUS ONE.

*Two weeks later*

Girl B: Hayete toi.
Girl A: Hayete toi.

*Four months later*

Girl B: Omgggg congratulations on getting engaged!!!!
Girl A: Thank you SO MUCH, YOU ARE THE BEST.
Girl B: I am nothing compared to you, you are the center of the world and the most beautiful bride.
Girl A: I can’t wait for us to celebrate together! When are we going for drinks?
Girl B: Me toooooo. Any time you want!!
Girl A: Let me know when is good hayete.

*Three years later*

Girl B: I can’t believe you have three children!
Girl A: I knowww time just flies, I swear.
Girl B: Tab I wanna see you! When can we go for heik a quick coffee or some drinks?
Girl A: How about tonight??
Girl B: awww tonight is the ONLY night I can’t. How about next Thursday??