A Beginner’s Guide to Surviving a Storm in Lebanon
Lebanese people enjoy drama queening storms in the most Eskimo-ish fashion. Here’s all you need to know…
P.S. You are strongly advised to read this under your bed sheets, in standard fetal position.
1. Stick to the Golden Rule…
2. Avoid life by getting your tongue, nose and fingers intimately involved with a Tarboosh
3. Make wise plans
4. And tea
5. Brush up on your hoodie game
6. Live-tweet your suffering
7. Emotionally scar a pair of Uggs
Because humans are too mainstream.
8. Cry over your internet speed
9. Cry over not having Netflix
10. Shed a sea of tears over having no one to cuddle with
11. Post a killer throwback of your summer thighs to Instagram
12. Mourn the premature death of your compact umbrella
13. Make sure to get your castana supplies checked
14. When rains get heavy, cease the opportunity to mentally recreate your favorite scene from The Notebook with your crush Much easier if your crush is actually Ryan Gosling…
15. Invest in a giant stuffed animal
16. Temporarily break up with your suicidal driving habits Roads are slippery and you’re no Jason Statham.
17. Denounce the flu
18. Experiment with a Turkish series for up to 50 seconds
19. Throw shade at the storm’s abilities
20. Hysterically refresh the weather app in a quest for sun
