I’m just going to go ahead and say it. It needs to be said: Christian Grey is a better boyfriend than most of the guys I’ve dated.

I am referring of course to the lead dude in the film adaptation of Fifty Shades of Grey, which I watched in theaters on opening night. I wasn’t sure exactly what to expect from the film – I haven’t read the book –I was mostly just hoping for the 90-minute vacation from my own brain that going to the movies provides. I guess I expected to see another film about a narcissistic sex addicted dude that somehow reinforces guys’ belief that it’s their God given right to fuck whomever they want, whenever they want, and that that woman should weigh 95 pounds, be Mila Kunis and willing to be FWB for life. Instead, I saw a kind of camp movie about an intelligent but insecure woman who willingly gets involved with a weird but rich guy who wants to liberate her through kinky sex. Cool! I left the theater thinking: hey, this guy’s not so bad.


(Image via tumblr.com)

Here’s what’s different about Christian Grey.

He works for it. He really puts in the effort to win Anastasia’s affection and trust. I mean there’s the material stuff – he buys her a car, he buys her a first edition set of her favorite novel. Nice. But he also puts in the effort in other ways too – introducing her to his parents, and taking her for exciting rides in an airplane. He seems to genuinely consider what impact the relationship will have on her, rather than focusing myopically on his own needs. The last guy I went out with didn’t even buy me dinner.

He’s upfront about his expectations, and what he’s willing to commit. He carefully lays out the parameters for how he wants the relationship to proceed, making clear from the get-go that he’s not looking for a relationship in the traditional sense, but a (contractually) defined dominant/ submissive relationship on his terms – with some room for negotiation. I’ve dated guys who on the first date suggested we were “meant to be,” only to tell me, and I quote, “I think you like me too much” after sex.

He’s willing to wait. Christian Grey doesn’t just talk Anastasia into bed for one night, only to peace out forever. (I mean, if he were, there wouldn’t be much of a story.) No, he’s in this for the long haul. He has a whole contract he wants Anastasia to sign, and he’s willing to wait for her explicit consent. Good on him.

He doesn’t try to choke Anastasia on the first date. ‘Nuff said.

He doesn’t make fun of Anastasia’s voice or shoes, or otherwise denigrate her value as a human being. In fact, he seems to want to encourage her to feel comfortable in her own body.

So, in conclusion, I’d argue that while Christian Grey may not be everyone’s ideal boyfriend (the man seems to have a shitty sense of humor, for one – and to be honest I’m not wild about his taste in interior design), he exhibits a certain level of maturity in his willingness to openly communicate his desires and expectations for the relationship early on. Some of the men I’ve dated could really learn a thing or two from him!

Let's Face It: Christian Grey Is A Better Boyfriend Than Most Guys I've Dated
 

Articles & Media

 

Comments

Avatar 1
Post to facebook