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Laura Hamade

Things I Learned During My First Five Years in Lebanon

I still refuse to surrender to poor time management, and you’ll never catch me cutting someone in line at the bank, but here are some of the things I’ve learned since moving to Lebanon.

1. THIS is the reason every Lebanese man has a belly.

(Photo via Tumblr)

2. Service drivers like to keep their pinky finger nail long.

3. Irregardless of how they dress, girls will get catcalled on a pretty regular basis.

4. The only way you’re allowed to wear sweatpants in public is if you’re wearing an expensive Juicy Couture sweatsuit paired with an even more expensive Gucci purse.

5. If you’re a woman and you’re still not married by the age of 30, everyone assumes there’s something wrong with you.

(Image via Elite Daily)

6. All my friends back home think I live in a desert and ride camels to work.

7. Missed calling someone once has a completely different meaning than missed calling them twice or three times.

8. Everyone and their mom’s neighbor’s best friend knows your business.

9. Beaches are over-priced, so unless you’ve got a balcony or some other way to get constant access to the sun, it actually costs like hundreds of dollars to get a decent tan in the summer.

10. Eating at a cafe without arguileh is odd.

11. When you shop, store owners like to follow you around and stare.

(Image via Tumblr)

12. If people say they’ll be there at 5 PM, they really mean 7 PM or later.

13. “Inshallah” usually just means no.

14. Never wear flats. It’s just not a practical form of footwear in a country where people like to regularly hose down the streets.

15. Never turn on the toaster while also running the dryer.

16. Chipped nail polish is a huge turnoff for men.

17. The Lebanese have a knack for wildly descriptive curse words and phrases.