A group of legging-clad Lebanese drama queens were sent last Sunday to defend Lebanon's borders against a potential new threat which has struck fear in the hearts of the country's most staunch fashionistas: Flare-leg denim jeans. According to experts, the wide-leg bottomed jean trend exploded onto the fashion season during Spring fashion week.

“We will not allow flares to jeopardize what we have built over the past seven years. In these hard times, we remain faithful to our commitment to showcase all your curves, regardless of how inappropriate it might seem to wear what are essentially skin-tight pajama pants in public,” the right wing Leather Legging (LL) party chief Shirine Ammar said in a press conference this morning.

Concerned with seeming perhaps too offensive, Ammar qualified her statement with: "We don't hate flare leg jeans, we just don't respect them."

(Image via afmu.net)

Multiple anti-flare protests broke out earlier this week across the streets of Beirut. Flared trousers are praised for their leg-lengthening effects which often end up covering the footwear beneath them. It appears a striking number of Lebanese women are loathe to the idea of having their overpriced designer shoes completely covered.The Lebanese Syndicate of Shoe Retailers (LSSR) also issued a statement expressing outrage at this possibility.

"Shoes deserve representation, just like any other part of the body," a syndicate spokesperson was quoted as saying.

Tight at the hips and wide at the legs, flares are internationally recognized for their ability to balance the silhouette. This is also a topic of concern for Lebanese girls who are worried about their calve muscles not getting the public exposure they deserve.

“Calves are no less important than your hips, waistline or bottom. Why would I settle for less than an all-inclusive curve-hugging garment?” a participant in last week’s LL protests, who preferred to remain anonymous, told Beirut.com.

Although flared trousers have been embraced by a few elite parties including the Fashion Bloggers Front (FBF) and the Victoria Beckham Reminiscence Movement (VBRM), the flare-scare does not seem to be coming to an end anytime soon.

Meanwhile, the LL party is trying to make their campaign hashtag #JusticeForLeggings trend across social media platforms, hoping to maintain their legacy for at least one more overdone season.

Disclaimer: this was a satirical blog post.

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For real "The Lebanese Syndicate of Shoe Retailers (LSSR) also issued a statement expressing outrage at this possibility." ???? Please say no , is this considered a major issue? O.o

Jana Helou on Apr 3, 2015 via web