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Lebanese People More Upset Over Losing SkyBar Than Going a Year Without President

Do you think we’re above saying, “Wal3aneh bil SkyBar?” Because we’re not.

At around 2 AM on Thursday, a huge fire (presumably due to an electric short) broke out in our nation’s favorite nightclub causing extensive damage to 60% of SkyBar’s venue. The repairs will need six to seven months to be completed, according to a Daily Star report, which means the club will not be open this summer.


(Image via Daily Star)

Can you hear the sound of the thousands of Louboutin heels being put back into their boxes? Can you hear the hairdressers of Beirut weeping at the thought of all the missed opportunities to give Lebanese girls an up-do every Friday night? Can you hear the management of Zaatar W Zeit fall to its knees at the mere prospect of no post-SkyBar drunken snackers?

The “best” part of the whole situation is that this past Monday, Lebanon marked its one year anniversary without a president, to which most people said, “Oh, we don’t have a president?”

That’s right, 365 days of political stalemate and an empty presidential chair passed virtually unnoted and with complete normalcy.

But back to what’s most important here: SkyBar. Where else are we supposed to drop hundreds of dollars to be packed in like a bunch of sweaty sardines in smooth vodka? Where else can we spend 98% of the night standing pathetically in front of a door begging a dickish bouncer to let us in? And where else can we spend the remaining 2% of our night enjoying the sweet stylings of blaring, thumping beats resembling something people once referred to as music? WHERE?

Shortly after news of the fire broke this morning, the faithful Lebanese partiers among us took to Twitter to offer a mixed dose of hysteria, cynicism, and hilarity.

We can look on the bright side and say that luckily the club was closed at the time of the fire, so no one was hurt or pronounced dead, but that shouldn’t stop you from wishing that some of the people in your life were.

After all, death by fire is the purest death (Game of Thrones fans will get it.)