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These Things Should Be Deal Breakers, But Not When You’re Dating Lebanese Guys
If you have a checklist of things a guy must like or ways he must behave in order to date him, then you’ve got the wrong idea about love and relationships. That being said, there are just some things that cannot be overlooked, like hating cheese. What kind of monster doesn’t enjoy cutting into a hearty slice of soft-ripened camembert topped with a walnut-cranberry chutney?
Anyway, in other parts of the world, some of these things might be total dealbreakers, but we live in Lebanon y’all. And that means you’ve got to have completely different standards, or at least be willing to lower them considerably.
[Bahahahhahaahaha, sh*t.]
1. He Lives With His Parents
I mean, c’mon, it’s like impossible to find a decent paying job in this country. Also, they’re all mommas boys. There’s no getting around it. Accept this fact and life will ultimately be easier.
2. He’s Psychotically Jealous
I mean, c’mon, they all are.
3. He Doesn’t Have a Job
It’s ok because he lives with his parents.
4. Lol, guyz who txt liek dis
Assuming the language he’s most comfortable speaking is Arabic, I can totally excuse the fact that you send me texts that could easily be mistaken for that of an 18-year-old teenage American girl. The ability to spell is totally overrated anyway.
5. He’s Needy
Because the narcissist in me says, “need me… need me the f*ck all you want.” An endless supply of love and adoration is necessary to keep the Lebanese female ego boosted at all times. Also, I have daddy issues so if I can’t ever achieve my father’s approval, I can certainly get this needy guy’s.
6. He Has Poor Hygiene
The water that comes out of my shower is probably already laden with feces, and so, I can’t hold this against you.
7. He Only Has a Lebanese Passport
I’m not really worried about him going anywhere. If I need to flee the country in a heartbeat – with no strings attached -this special little juicebox won’t be following me.
8. Not Being Religious
The intolerance with which religion often gets framed in Lebanon is entirely unattractive. He doesn’t have to be atheist, per se, but I’d rather have a heated debate over Radiohead’s best work than discuss the moral merits of the Kataeb’s latest political moves in Lebanon.