I’m Sick of Being the Coolest Girl a Guy Has Ever Met

Get in line, dude. I’ve heard that one a million, gazillion times. I’m easy to get along with, I love a spontaneous pickup game of disc golf, kickball, softball, soccer, you name it. I avoid pointless fights like the plague. I love to drink beer and eat pizza. I never talk about marriage or big picture commitment. I never complain about looking fat. Actually, I look pretty damn good in just about everything I wear.

In sum: I am the coolest girl you’ve ever met.

I’m also still single, childless and nearly 33-years-old.

I’m not complaining, necessarily.

I don’t exactly want kids anytime soon, and I’m not on the active hunt for the love of my life. But after this most recent breakup, I’m finding myself fed up with being the cool girl. The cool girl doesn’t get me any closer to the future life I sometimes think about leading.

I spent years of my early life to get to this point: perfectly molded for male pleasure: easy going, hyper-sexual, intellectual, great taste in music, a sense of personal style that screams “unique,” and not one bit clingy. You want a back massage? Awesome. Your idea of the perfect morning is breakfast in bed and then an intimate, deep-throat BJ? Perfect. I’m totally down.

I am a smart, sexy, capable, career-driven, independent and successful woman. And yet, I’m still not capable of pinning down a long-term relationship with a guy that’s as serious about it as I am. If anything, I’m often told I’m the “lucky one” who’s been chosen to go out with guy x, y and z dude. And in the end, it always ends in almost the exact same way. They’re the ones who “are just in a transitory, difficult spot in their lives right now.” “It’s not you,” they often say. “It’s me.”

“You’re so perfect. You’re so fun. You’re so sexy. But I’m just not ready to settle down yet.”

I’m not dating teenage boys, mind you. These are my peers: a plethora of thirty-something men who will absolutely back up the fact that I am the coolest girl they’ve ever met… but that doesn’t mean they want a serious relationship.