We had a great time, but the chemistry just wasn’t there. and all I was left with, were the words: “but you’re seriously the coolest girl I’ve ever met.”

Get in line, dude. I’ve heard that one a million, gazillion times. I’m easy to get along with, I love a spontaneous pickup game of disc golf, kickball, softball, soccer, you name it. I avoid pointless fights like the plague. I love to drink beer and eat pizza. I never talk about marriage or big picture commitment. I never complain about looking fat. Actually, I look pretty damn good in just about everything I wear.

In sum: I am the coolest girl you’ve ever met.

I’m also still single, childless and nearly 33-years-old.

I’m not complaining, necessarily.

I don’t exactly want kids anytime soon, and I’m not on the active hunt for the love of my life. But after this most recent breakup, I’m finding myself fed up with being the cool girl. The cool girl doesn’t get me any closer to the future life I sometimes think about leading.

I spent years of my early life to get to this point: perfectly molded for male pleasure: easy going, hyper-sexual, intellectual, great taste in music, a sense of personal style that screams “unique,” and not one bit clingy. You want a back massage? Awesome. Your idea of the perfect morning is breakfast in bed and then an intimate, deep-throat BJ? Perfect. I’m totally down.

I am a smart, sexy, capable, career-driven, independent and successful woman. And yet, I’m still not capable of pinning down a long-term relationship with a guy that’s as serious about it as I am. If anything, I’m often told I’m the “lucky one” who’s been chosen to go out with guy x, y and z dude. And in the end, it always ends in almost the exact same way. They’re the ones who “are just in a transitory, difficult spot in their lives right now.” “It’s not you,” they often say. “It’s me.”

“You're so perfect. You're so fun. You're so sexy. But I’m just not ready to settle down yet.”

I’m not dating teenage boys, mind you. These are my peers: a plethora of thirty-something men who will absolutely back up the fact that I am the coolest girl they’ve ever met… but that doesn’t mean they want a serious relationship.

So that’s why i’m sick of being THAT girl. Being the “cool girl” may get you a lot of fun partners in crime and great stories to tell another time. But in no way does that translate into a future of long-term commitment.


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Totally relate ;)

Nour Aoun on Jul 29, 2015 via web
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Don't let them change you, be awesome as you are now. They might not want what you have to offer, but that doesn't in any way mean you're doing it wrong. I'm sure the right will be there. My ex was just like you and I loved every bit of her, even though before I thought I was fed up with women, it changed! So take care, and don't worry be happy!

Rabih Hawwa on Jul 29, 2015 via web
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My advice is not to let these exes make you feel you need to change. If you want to change then do it for yourself and not for a man's sake. Plus what the hell?? I've been looking for a girl like you my whole life! How could anyone with a semi-reasonable mind would let that go!!

Maher Abu Haidar on Jul 29, 2015 via web