Have you ever read about an app and thought to yourself, “I would rather set myself on fire and go on three dates with my brother before I download this” - because you’re about to.

Meet the Shryne app, also known as the app that has taken every single one of my fears and nightmares and transcribed them into something I can download on my iPhone.

Using the Shryne app, you can view an archive of every single text, tweet, email, and photo you've shared with your ex - all in one feed you can scroll through.



Hey, Shryne developers – what made you think anyone would want this? Did you think to yourselves, “well, there isn’t that much pain and suffering in the world. Let’s remind people of all the shitty decisions they've made, all the embarrassing sexts they've sent.” Why?

Let's be clear, the only time I would ever want to see my ex-boyfriend again is if I get to watch him being set on fire by my much hotter future-boyfriend. Did you think I would miss reading all his annoying texts in which he misspells the word 'sweetie' over and over again? Think: sweaty, sweatie, sweety. Ugh.

If I was to transcribe all my interactions with my ex, they would mostly be him asking when we’re going to have a threesome, and me continuously trying to break up with him – no thank you.

It’s no big surprise that Shryne was created by Irish developers, the Irish are constantly drunk and that’s the only reason someone would think to build a torture app like this. Shryne even takes it one step further and creates a scrapbook of all the photos of your ex; so if anyone wants to see photos of a sad, middle aged man trying to make his penis look big next to tiny objects, hit me up and I'll link you to my ex's feed.

Now, on an unrelated note – does anyone know about an app that’s like Tinder… but instead of matching with perverts, I’d match with puppies around my city?

Comments

Avatar 1
Post to facebook