So a little over a week ago, Gisele Bundchen and her sister Rafaela wore burqas as a disguise to go get plastic surgery in Paris. She thought she was going to get away with it, but there’s no getting past The Daily Mail.

The British tabloid caught it on camera, and verified that it was in fact Gisele. (They identified her based on her driver’s car and then later confirmed that she had spent $11,000 on treatments for her eyes and boobs.)

And for one brief moment, the ever-Fascistic Daily Mail, more commonly known as the Daily Fail (and let us remind you that they used to defend Nazis,) justified its pathetic existence by finally giving us something of substance.

This juicy bit of celebrity gossip delights us for all the wrong reasons. First of all, wearing a burqa happens to be illegal in France, one of the more Islamophobic countries. Which means Gisele thought it was worth BREAKING THE LAW and attracting the scorn of Islamophobes to protect her vanity.

Western commentators love to talk about the burqa as a symbol of oppression – the act of unveiling is an act of liberation the West can provide. And yet here it is a Western, capitalistic impulse – the need to remain young-looking no matter what – that requires veiling.

Ahhhhh, nothing like the smell of fresh hypocrisy in the morning.

Then of course there is the pure schadenfreude of it all. Oh ho ho, Gisele Bundchen, perfect Gisele Bundchen, who is constantly posting pictures of her ridiculously perfect life and body to Instagram, is actually a big fat phony.


Now, while Gisele might post an Instagram photo of herself wearing a bindi with her head covered, it’s unlikely her “selfie in burqa” photo will surface anytime soon.


At the end of the day, Gisele might have been better off getting her plastic surgery in Lebanon, where women and even a few men wear their plastic surgery bandages as badges of honor. You can regularly see women with plasters all over their faces – almost as if to say, “Bitch, I can afford to look fabulous. Have fun with your natural nose, proletarians.”

For now – next time you see a woman in a burqa and are preparing to judge, just pause. And remember: it may be Gisele.

[Images via here, here, and here.]

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