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Lama Hajj

Places to Avoid (If You Hate People)

The weekend is almost upon us, just a couple more days of working and most of you can throw caution to the wind and go back to slinging back tequila shots without a care in the world.
Weekends are a wonderful time for families and friends to get together and celebrate with lots of food, outings, and gatherings. However some of us have social anxieties, some of us don’t like the sweet caress of human interaction – it makes our skin crawl and our throats close up. That is why we have come up with this handy guide of places to avoid this weekend.

Restaurants

Restaurants are sure to be jam-packed with tons of people; hungry and chatty people who are thrilled that they can shovel as much hummus as they want into their faces – that’s a recipe for disaster. If you’re not ready to hear the mundane hum of irritatingly polite conversation coupled with the enthusiastic shriek of a child, it’s best that you avoid restaurants.

Parks

Do you hate the sound of children’s laughter? Do you fear the threatening stance of a child at play? Do you hate kids casually running into your crotch? Does the sight of a ball flying towards your head unsettle you? If you answered yes to any of the previous questions, you should definitely avoid any and all parks.

Bars

If you think you can escape the hustle-bustle of weekends by tucking away into your favorite bar and chugging a bunch of gin and tonics, think again. Bars are sure to be packed with overly-enthusiastic Lebanese people who are home for the holiday; they will be drunk, they will be loud, and they will try to talk to you.

The Outdoors

Let’s face it, people are going to be all over the place. Your best bet is to be a shut-in for a few days until the madness passes. The streets will be traffic laden and cluttered with humans, and every place will be full of people having a great and very loud time. Ugh.

Your Living Room

Remember that just because you can’t go outside, doesn’t mean you’re safe in your own home. Family and friends are bound to be over to enjoy the weekend at your casa; that means you’re forced to wear a bra and maybe even some pants, two definite mood-killers. You’ll have to endure cheek pinching, prodding questions about your relationship status, and probably some off-handed remarks about your weight.
It’s best you stay in bed and watch Hannibal.

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