Tips for Living with Your Parents in Lebanon

Imagine all the times you were about to get lucky and you heard your parents unlocking the front door. What about the time your old folks came home to find the house completely trashed because your alcoholic friends were over the previous night? Wouldn’t it be nice to avoid such situations? Now, these may not allow you to throw massive raves at home but they sure as hell will make living with your parents in Lebanon at least slightly easier.

1. Hide your goods in your car
You do not, I repeat: DO NOT want your conservative Lebanese parents finding out that their precious baby smokes, drinks, and whatever else you do. Better be safe than sorry.

2. Save up so you can eventually move out
You don’t want to depend on them forever, right? Start saving up to get your own place.

3. Make friends with a goody-two-shoes
Your parents will think that you’re always with her and that’ll provide you with a back-up story for why you’re out until the wee hours of the night. You were baking cupcakes at her house and fell asleep, duh.

4. Clean up after yourself
Don’t let them think they raised a slob. Learn how to work all the appliances in the house and at least pretend you know where your mom keeps the mop.

5. Be independent
This is a little ironic considering you’re living under their roof, but don’t let them pay for gas, your phone bill, or any of your personal expenses – it’ll make it that much easier when you decide to move out.

6. Spend time with the old folks
Giving them some visibility on your life makes things a whole lot easier, I promise.

7. Get a job
Yes, get off your lazy ass and pay for your own shit every once in a while.

8. Limit the amount of information you share with them
Especially if your parents are a bit intrusive when it comes to your personal life.

9. Remember all the money you’re saving on rent and utility bills
Think of your friends who have to pay staggering amounts for rent and be appreciative every once in a while.

10. Don’t bring your drug addict friends and sexually active boyfriends over
Just…don’t.

11. Try to sober up before stumbling through the doorway at 2:00 am.

Of course, if these don’t work out for you, you could always consider moving out and spending nearly your entire sad salary on rent.