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Christina Fakhry

How To Become A Lebanese Socialite In 10 Simple Steps

N.B This post was originally published in July 2015.

In case you’re wondering, socialite here stands for a refined form of hipster.


1. Stuff your face (and Instagram) with quinoa (and kale).

As a first step, you need to become fully acquainted with quinoa and its descendants as these are the only ingredients you need to showcase your healthy lifestyle and eventually boost your social status. And no, posting pictures of your quinoa salad every now and then is not enough. You need to enlighten the ignorant masses about the nutritional value of quinoa, preach about the benefits of kale at every occasion and gradually turn into a fully devoted quinoa-kale activist, carrying the divine message of food salvation to the world.

2. Buy this bag.

Owning the iconic Louis Vuitton checkered tote (aka the epitome of mainstream expensive taste) is a prerequisite. Doesn’t really matter whether it’s real or fake, you just need to get your hands on one ASAP (if you haven’t already). Also make sure to toss your stuff into the bag as messily as possible in order to achieve an effortless appearance whenever you have to pull something out.

3. Exhaust the internet with pictures every time you go to an event.

Did you just leave your house to grab a cup of coffee? Do your hair? Go to the dentist? These are all opportunities to regale the world with photos of your day. #BestPeople #BestNightEver #PleaseLookAtMe #PleaseAcknowledgeMyExistence #IAmTryingSoHard

4. Post humanitarian/cultural statuses on Facebook.

People need to know that beneath that caked on make-up and those inflated pecs is a soul. A shriveled one, but a soul nonetheless. That’s why you need to keep posting things about refugees/world hunger/artistic photos/avant-garde things.

5. Fangirl over sushi.

Please make sure to add 1,905,043 emojis every time you come across a sushi picture on the web. And don’t forget to tag your friends.

6. Start a blog.

It seems Lebanese people are oblivious to the fact that not every literate human on planet earth is worthy of having a WordPress account. And therefore you absolutely need to create a blog to promote your exceptional fashion taste, your controversial views of society and, most importantly, what you just had for lunch. The world is in desperate need for your words of wisdom.

7. Post endless pictures of your outfits to Instagram.

Like, can’t you see I’m such a hardcore fashionista? Do you not appreciate the amount of money I invested in my Louboutins?

8. Caption your Instagram pictures using Arabic letters.

Because Marilyn quotes are so 2013 and English is just too mainstream.

9.Post inspirational quotes under all your selfies.

It’s not enough that you’re gracing the internet with your flawless beauty and hair extensions, you need to inspire the masses. Always post some hokey irrelevant quotation about living in the moment under your elevator selfie.

10. Drop by Cannes every summer.

And make sure your camera is on 24/7 every time. #WorldTraveller #Plane #Airport #IAmSoDoneWithDis