September is finally here and for many of us, that means the beginning of the fiscal year or fall semester of university. But universally, September just means not having to deal with summer’s bullshit anymore. Below is a list of things we just are not going to miss about this overhyped season:

1. End of summer traffic. No more hot, sweaty traffic that overheats the engine of your shitty car. On the other hand this means that whenever it starts raining everyone will forget how to drive.

2. The humidity will finally become low enough so that your crotch won’t smell like a Moroccan village.

3. Less electricity crises! Again, summer heat causes generators to overheat and malfunction. With the beginning of fall coming soon you can look forward to less (we said less, not zero) electricity crises occurring.

4. If you’re a parent, you can finally ship your kids off to wherever they go from September to June. Say hello to drinking in the afternoon!

5. Not having to maintain a perfect pedicure (whether you’re a man or a woman) because you’re not wearing sandals anymore.


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