WARNING: Season 5 spoilers ahead.

Game of Thrones is one of those shows you can’t seem escape, even if you try. Everyone’s always talking about it. So you figure you’ll give it a chance. The next thing you know you’re watching the entire series for the sixth time and weeping over the love Daenerys has for her dragons. And if you’re anything like me, you like to imagine excessively sadistic social experiments where you imagine people you hate in real life try to survive in Westeros. So from the depths of my imagination I bring you: If Game of Thrones Were Set In Lebanon.

1. There would be no one on the iron throne for ten years.

2. Beit Stark’s honor would rest solely on the head of the family staying in Parliament for the longest time possible and throwing in a couple nephews before he retires at 109.

3. Daenery’s dragons would just be mutated giant birds that have eaten toxic waste from excess garbage.

4. The Thenns (aka scary wildlings) would have had gotten their look with fillers from Nader Saab. Side note: in light of him stabbing Jon Snow in the back who else wishes Pip was killed right then?

5. Slogans like “for the watch” are replaced with “tol3it re7itkom”.

6. They would use all the garbage on the street to throw at Cersei during her walk of shame.

7. Instead of your favorite characters getting killed off, they just move to Dubai and Australia for better job opportunities and reasonable electricity hours.

8. “Beyond the wall” is just Syria, and that carries its own dangers with it.

9. The person Daenerys is sleeping with would be up for the iron throne instead of her because, you know, misogyny.


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