While not everyone uses them, many Lebanese people have used an alibi or two on their parents. Whether it’s because they’re conservative or still retain some of that civil war fear, sometimes Lebanese parents don’t really need to know exactly what’s going on. Here are a few excuses to use on your Lebanese parents.

Excuse #1: Starbucks is open 24/7.

I was working on a project with my classmates on renewable energy systems in Guwahati. We were brainstorming and really digging deep into how we can replicate similar programs in Lebanon, my beautiful home country. The time just slipped away, and although it is 5 AM, you can’t rush it when it comes to saving Lebanon. I am doing this for all of us. You’re welcome.

Excuse #2: I need to go star-gazing.

It is part of a project I’m doing in my astronomy class in university. I need to be in a place with no pollution or lights to be able to see Venus tonight. I will have no cell phone reception, so please do not fret, for I will be fine. I’ll be back at 6 AM after I am finished gazing at Venus.

Excuse #3: It’s poetry night.

Mama, Baba, I am going to poetry night. It is very important that I recite my newest slam poetry to an audience of fellow intellectuals. What do you mean I haven’t mentioned my poems before? Oh, you want to hear some of my poetry? Let me get back to you. You can’t force art, and I’m just not feeling it right now.

Excuse #4: My friend was drunk and I thought that I should be responsible and take her home.

Being the ever-sober adult I am, mama, I thought it would be wise to help those less responsible than I. Goodness, people do drink so much these days. It’s really quite disturbing. I need to go lie down and think about the state of my generation. Good night.

Excuse #5: It’s [insert friend’s name here]’s sister/brother’s engagement.

I have to go. It would be 3ayb not to. Oh, I already told you I was going to her engagement last year? Well you see, what I meant was, I’m going to her actual wedding tonight. I know, so many celebrations for one freakin’ marriage. I know you don’t think I’m dressed up enough for a wedding, but I’m bringing back the casual look. Anyways it’s way up in the mountains. Don’t wait up.

Excuse #6: [Insert name here] is leaving.

What do you mean they've already traveled four times this month? Yes, I'm aware but this time they're NEVER coming back...this month.


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